Posts Tagged ‘Leaders’
Monday, April 25th, 2011
There is so much being discussed about authenticity and it can be a double edged sword if the subtleties are ignored. Truth, just like everything else in life is good and yet can backfire if not done with a strong sense of time and place. Let me know what you think after you read this post.
Why Self-Deception and Leadership Don’t Mix
By Laurie Gerber
When I talk to leaders, I find out that a lot of them struggle with feeling like frauds. After all the work you do to succeed, do you sometimes still end up feeling like a fraud?
Recently my leadership capacities took a leap forward when I realized that I was being a hypocrite. I was telling other people to speak the truth to their parents, and I wasn’t standing up and speaking “my truth” to my dad on the subject of his smoking. As soon as I started dealing with that head on, I experienced more confidence in front of large audiences and in front of the camera.
I know another great leader who, despite tons of success as an internationally known fitness instructor, still felt like she didn’t really know what she was doing. She opened up and began talking about it in front of her classes and realized that she had been thinking that her unique version of exercise was some how “less than” other more established brands. However, in revealing that, and in rethinking it, she realized that it was in fact even more special because it was different. But then there was this other compounding issue of updating her certifications, which she also admitted needing to do. Clearing that up, she experienced a whole new level of success and confidence. She stopped hiding her internal dialogue (which we all know is so often wrong) and started telling the truth about her trials and triumphs as part of each class she led. As she made transparency her policy, she was forced to deal head-on with anything that was troubling her and was loved through her process by her students. The public nature of this type of leadership caused her to correct things in her life and to be an inspiration in ways she had only dreamed of doing “on her own” or with just a therapist. What a gift to have “a public.” What an inspiration she was to her public.
I know a spiritual leader, similarly, who was shocked and appalled to realize that she was teaching a message of peace and acceptance while regularly losing control with her young son and yelling at him. On some level, how could she not feel like a fraud? But we don’t say to ourselves, “I am a fraud.” Instead, when thinking of taking the next leadership risk, we think things like, “I am just shy,” or, “I’m not good enough yet,” or even, “I don’t really want/care about that.” The truth is, we do want more and we do care.
Many of you have a vision for something you want to see happen. It could be a reconciliation or improvement in your family or in your marriage. It could be a better household system with your kids. It could be teaching the art of breathing or pottery or architecture or law to a group of students, or it could be working with a non-profit or company that has a local, national or global mission to fulfill. To get the job done, you need to be free to lead, confident in yourself, your ability and your right to command others to listen and follow you.
Consider that you want someone to follow your lead. In order to hold your head high and ask for that, you need to really trust yourself. The first step in building self-trust is telling the truth about where you are right now. If you are stuck in your leadership, ask yourself if you have one or more of the issues I brought up in my first three examples.
- You might be a hypocrite on some level.
- You might be unresolved about an incident that happened to you that clouds your view of what is possible.
- You might be staying quiet about something you need to speak up about.
When you start talking about it to others (truthfully), you are forced to deal with it.
* * * * *Dip your toe in to this process by first confessing something on my life coaching blog. Leave a comment and I’ll respond. And if you haven’t already, I recommend that you schedule a free life coaching session.
Sylvia Lafair Comment:
Thanks Laurie,
Good post. What I teach in my Total Leadership Connections Program, now in its 10th year is that to be authentic we need to have the courage to tell the truth. However, there is one caveat that I want to add “telling the truth is NOT spilling your guts”. Sometimes leaders trip over themselves because the place or time is inappropriate and thus they end up with egg on their faces. This is so key to leadership, not to pull others into your inadequacies when you are the teacher; it sets up the knee-jerk reaction of those you are leading to want to either rescue you or tackle you to
the ground.
I have seen this happen over and over; there is an art to self-disclosure and the leaders who master this are the ones with sustainability.
Tags: Authenticity, communications, Family, Huffington Post, hypocrite, Laurie Gerber, Leaders, Leadership, Marriage, Reactions, Self-Deception, Self-Trust, Spiritual Leader, Struggles, Total Leader Connections, Truth, unresolved
Posted in Communication, Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Leadership, leadership development, Trust | No Comments »
Wednesday, April 20th, 2011
The following article is important to begin to see that we have created such polarization in the work place. Everyone wants lots of space to do whatever, and yet, there are good reasons why we need to check in with each other. Let me know what you think.
When Nagging Pays off For Managing Teams
by Sean Silverthorne
Is this your boss? She meets with you on a project, then follows up over the next few days with an e-mail, a hallway conversation, a quick phone call and maybe even a text message. Are you being nagged? Micromanaged?
Nope. Your boss is actually engaging in behavior, annoying as it may seem, that will get you working on the project more quickly, according to new research from Harvard Business School’s Tsedal B. Neeley and Northwestern University’s Paul M. Leonardi and Elizabeth M. Gerber.
The practice works particularly well for time-pressured leaders who have no actual authority over team members, such as when individuals are brought together from across the organization to work on a project. (Managers with authority tend to send, at most, one followup and assume it will get done.)
The researchers studied the communication patterns of 13 project managers in half-a-dozen firms across the computing, telecommunications, and health care industries. The team recorded every activity in the managers’ workday, collecting a total of 256 hours’ worth of observations.
The key finding: Managers who are deliberately redundant as communicators move their projects forward more quickly and smoothly than those who are not.
A story about the research by Kim Girard can be viewed here. Or read an abstract of the paper, How Managers Use Multiple Media.
Neeley has published other interesting work on the dynamics of teams. Her paper Walking Through Jelly: Language Proficiency, Emotions, and Disrupted Collaboration in Global Work looked at the common practice, especially by multinationals, of adopting a common business language (often English) for all of the firm. This practice can trigger a cycle of negative emotional responses that interfere with collaborative relationships on the teams, according to the research.
Tags: Communication, Elizabeth M. Gerber, Kim Girard, Leaders, Managing, Nagging, Prodding, Sean Silverthorn, Teams
Posted in Advice, Boss-Employee Relationship, Character, Coaching, Communication | No Comments »
Monday, April 11th, 2011
We have so many opportunities to make change every day. Our clothes, our thoughts, our jobs. However, there is a deeper aspect of change that takes getting really still and listening to that small inner voice we so often neglect. This excellent guest blog is perfect for all leaders and leaders in training to check internally to make sure you are in the right place.
This guest blog is written by: Catherine Pastille, Ph.D., the Founder and Executive Director of The Global Awareness Initiative, LLC. She currently serves as Adjunct Asst. Professor of Management at Providence College and as a lecturer in the School of Business of the University of Massachusetts Boston. Catherine offers workshops and executive coaching in Staying Vital™ and will publish an e-book on the topic in October, 2011.
Website: http://www.stayingvital.com
Staying Vital: The Hidden Challenge
In a recent project, I asked management students to take a month and make a meaningful change in their lives. Most students chose to change a health – related behavior such as exercising more, changing their diet, or getting more sleep. The first week produced measurable change in their lives. The second week happened to coincide with a busy test period. As their stress level increased, most of them lost the ability to act on their well-planned intentions. Some of them wrote about how they were determined to “tough it out”. I reminded these students that “toughing it out” is one option; reassessing our plan and our path to reaching our goals is also a viable alternative.
As I reflect on my students’ experience over the last couple of weeks, I can’t help but see how the habit of putting work demands above the needs of our heart and spirit gets engrained in us from an early age through performance expectations in schools, sports, in college and throughout our career and society. Is it possible that even while we are doing our best to meet the challenges of our daily work and family responsibilities, the challenge of meeting the needs of our spirit gets pushed right off our radar screen? Have we become so focused on productivity and performance that the work of staying deeply rooted in the very source of our energy and creativity no longer makes it onto our daily agenda?
Without a sense of vitality – an immediate and deep awareness of the power of the human spirit and our capacity to create with it – we are left with accomplishing our work through force of will. When we accomplish our goals through sheer willpower we weary more quickly. We feel as if we are just going through the motions day in and day out. Or we may have to divert a good deal of energy and attention into keeping ourselves “energized” and “engaged” instead of being able to just put our attention on fully living the moment to the best of our ability. When we focus on cultivating our sense of vitality, our work and responsibilities become the means through which we accomplish our important life tasks. A focus on staying vital makes it possible to sustain long periods of optimal performance with a sense of ease and stability even in the midst of rapid change and almost continuous high performance demands.
A couple of years ago I went on a silent retreat in which we were allowed to talk only over meals. The monk who sat at my dinner table was asked about why he became a monk. He told a story about how he had a very successful career on Wall Street and then he woke up one day and decided he did not want to live his life with money and time pressure being the center of his thinking and decision making. He wanted to make decisions for his life from his heart and soul. I want that for me. I want that for those I teach. I want that for everyone.
To begin to live with a deeper sense of vitality, ask and answer this set of questions whenever you make a choice about how you are going to live, love or work:
- What do I need to do right now to stay vital?
- What has to be done in order for those I love to stay vital?
- What will it take for those I work with, for my organization, for society and for the living world to stay vital?
Oh, and one more thing: before you begin to ask and answer these questions, prepare yourself for a life-changing journey.
Tags: accomplish life tasks, Boston, Catherine Pastille, Change, energize, engage, Journey, Leaders, Life changing decisions, Providence College, Sylvia Lafair, The Global Awareness Initiative, Vital, vitality
Posted in Character, Decision Making, Leaders, Reflections, Relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
Think back to what the world was like 100 years ago; much super different and yet so much the same. The sun will come up tomorrow however; the landscape is more crowded and polluted than ever before.
WE CAN MAKE CHANGE!
Women still birth babies, although in many parts of the world it is now the mother’s choice rather than a mandate. In other areas of the world women have no say in their personal rights about childbirth or sexuality.
WE CAN MAKE CHANGE
Today is a celebration of International Women’s Day. Only one century ago women could not vote, enter a university, own land, start a company. Women are now are over the 50% mark compared to males graduation from college and going on for advanced degrees. More women than men are entering the medical field when even fifty years ago a woman was laughed at for wanting to become a physician. Women are on the Supreme Court of our nation, heads of large corporations, astronauts, and on and on.
WE HAVE MADE CHANGE
To celebrate this time of women and their accomplishments we are beginning a new series of week-end retreats for women in business to hone their skills even more, network in a relaxed environment and take time for self-care to prevent the uglies of burnout.
The first weekend retreat will be May 20-22 in conjunction with the launch of Sylvia Lafair’s new book. As with her award winning “Don’t Bring It to Work” this new book will be a landscape of how the past and present connect to form the future for women leaders as partners to our men. It covers the requirements for contemporary leaders; self-care, self-aware, and pattern-aware. The title says it all:
GUTSY: HOW WOMEN LEADERS MAKE CHANGE
Tags: accomplishments, Book, Leaders, women, Women's revolution
Posted in Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Women in the workplace | No Comments »
Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
In Daniel Pink’s book “A Whole New Mind” he talks about the need for 21st Century leaders to be pattern aware. This is a core concept for these times if we are ever to get past the thinking and behavior of polarization that is demanding we destroy each other and eventually the world.
The following article shows simple physical changes for schools that could change ways of learning and thus relating. The same model is ready for the workplace. While cubicles are good we also need other areas for solitude as well as places for dialogue.
The creative energy for learning comes out showing what is needed: places for peace and absorption, discussions and cooperation, security and learning.
What would happen to the superficial and unhealthy way we compete if we had areas at home, at school, and at work that would feed our brains, hearts, and relationships?
I tip my metaphorical hat and give thanks for those who stand on the creative edge of the new to help us grow!
Click this link to read: A 21st Century School on The Cutting Edge of Learning
Tags: 21st Century, Educators, Leaders, Leadership, School
Posted in Education, Educators | No Comments »
Friday, October 22nd, 2010
Sometimes I get super depressed when I turn on the television for a moment of diversion. I quickly turn the tube off. It is full of shoot to kill or who done it, that are mostly a waste of good time. I then go back to the web, more interesting. Arianna Huffington’s blog is one of the best and this article about most interesting people who are making a difference was uplifting. Enjoy and pass it along.
100 Game Changers, Millions of Votes, Here are your Ultimate 12
By: Arianna Huffington
Last month we announced HuffPost’s 2010 Game Changers — 100 innovators, visionaries, and leaders who are changing the way we look at the world and the way we live in it. And we asked you to weigh in on who the Ultimate Game Changer is in each of our 12 categories: Politics, Entertainment, Style, Tech, Business, Travel, Green, Sports, Food, Education, Media, and Impact (where we salute those changing the game when it comes to philanthropy and service).
The response was tremendous. You cast over 3 million votes. Thank you!
Now it’s time to reveal your picks for the Ultimate 12.
They are an eclectic mix of those accustomed to the spotlight and those who have been working under the radar. And there were more than a few surprises. For instance, despite the presence of a number of superstar athletes in Sports, you voted in Amy Palmiero-Winters & Catherine Hughes, two below-the-knee amputees who show that disabilities need not be an end to dreams of athletic triumph.
And while our Style Game Changers included style and fashion icons such as Tom Ford and Paulina Porizkova, and red carpet regulars Ashley and Mary Kate Olson, you selected Joe Bozich, who runs a garment factory in the Dominican Republic that pays its workers a living wage.
So check out the slideshow below to see who the HuffPost community selected as the Ultimate Game Changers.
And it won’t be long before we start putting together next year’s list of Game Changers, so be on the lookout for those people who are pushing the envelope in their fields — who are willing to look at things and take the risk of saying, “I think I have a better way.”
Congratulations again to our 100 HuffPost Game Changers, who we will be celebrating at a party next Thursday (watch for pictures and coverage of the event). And a special round of virtual applause for the Ultimate 12.
Sylvia Lafair’s Comment:
Hooray for people who put passion before profits. These winners are examples of how to live a life that is more than just a bunch of
expensive toys. My dream would be to attend a dinner party with this amazing crew and listen. They are the change agents that are able to get beyond the superficial and the indulgent.
Every kid in school should have to pick one of the winners and research a life that is being lived well. THESE ARE THE ROLE MODELS FOR THE FUTURE!
Brought to you by: Online MBA Rankings
Tags: Arianna Huffington, Business, Education, Entertainment, Food, Game Changers, Green, Impact, Innovators, Inspirational, Leaders, Media, Passion before Profit, Politics, Role Models, Sports, Television, Travel, Visionaries, Winners
Posted in Character, Leaders | No Comments »
Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
It’s always fun to find interesting people via the web. I just returned from San Francisco to check my morning emails and this delightful message was waiting for me. TED talks are a way for all of us to learn from each other. The founder of TED, Richard Saul Wurman graciously endorsed my book “Don’t Bring It to Work” and it is amazing to see how his idea for a think tank of creative people has spread word wide.
Thank you Alan for sending this to me and now I am pleased to send it to my readers. Enjoy.
I recently discovered your blog, and I have become a frequent reader. My name is Alan with Bestcollegesonline.com and we recently published an article “12 Essential TED Talks for Writers” that dovetails well with your audience. Perhaps you would be interested in sharing with them? Here’s the link to the article if you would like to take a quick look for yourself: (http://www.bestcollegesonline.com/blog/2010/08/17/12-essential-ted-talks-for-writers/).
Tags: Communciation, Leaders, Leadership, TED, Writers
Posted in Leaders, Leadership | No Comments »
Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
Dissecting the various components of leadership keeps many an academic and blogger busy for years and years. It is such a fascinating subject. Do we really know what the right blend is for extraordinary leadership? We keep writing, reading and analyzing. The following article gives a great perspective to discuss. Think about those you have worked with who you see as exemplary leaders. What are the attributes that make you believe in them? For me, it is the willingness to be a truth seeker and a truth teller. It is one who is willing to look and re-look and be accountable when situations backfire. The rest of leadership, charisma, intellectual brilliance, great wit, are all window dressing. Give me someone who is willing to “own” his or her part of a situation, that is someone I will trust and be willing to follow.
On Leadership: BP, Dell, Wall Street –where have the corporate heros gone??
Amy M. Wilkinson is a senior fellow at Harvard University’s Center for Business and Government and a public policy scholar at the Woodrow Wilson Center.
Somehow America has forgotten that our vibrant economy, the mass majority of our jobs, and the products we use every day are a result of strong business leadership.
When was the last time you went to the grocery store to find fresh fruit, sliced turkey, toilet paper or deodorant? The CEOs of Safeway, Giant, Whole Foods and many other retailers enable our lives.
Yes, there are leaders who have violated our trust and profoundly mismanaged their organizations. Yet, the vast majority of CEOs create jobs for more than 80 percent of America’s workers. In recent years, Google has created 22,000 jobs and put information at our fingertips. Apple has revolutionized music players and cellphones and irrevocably changed the way we interact with technology. Intel has built a computer chip that is 1,000 times as powerful, 100,000 times smaller and 1 million times cheaper than that of MIT’s mainframe in 1965.
We don’t think to thank the CEO of Waste Management when trash disappears from our curbs, but 20 million households across North America rely on the company.
So where are corporate heroes? They are working quietly among us.
John Baldoni is a leadership consultant, coach and regular contributor to the Harvard Business Review online.
In December 1995, Fortune conducted an interview with two titans of American business who defined those heady times: high growth, high return and high rewards; Jack Welch of General Electric and Roberto Goizueta of Coca-Cola.
Both became CEOs in 1981 when their companies were underperforming. Welch transformed GE into a sleek juggernaut that dominated market segments from jet engines and locomotives to finance. Goizueta shook up the culture to focus more on the customer and in the process increased Coke’s market capitalization more than 30-fold.
Neither had it easy. In their Fortune interview, Welch said he was always “scared” that GE would not be nimble enough. Goizueta confided he slept like a baby: “I wake up every two hours and cry.”
This gets to the heart of leadership. Leadership, like character, is what you do when the choices are hard. When things are booming, it can be fun to grow the business, introducing new products and services, hiring new employees and reaping strong profit. Tough times mean facilities closings, layoffs and bearish earnings.
Savvy leaders prepare for tough times always. They delegate leadership to the front lines. This not only makes for greater engagement because people feel more in control of their jobs, it is great preparation for tough times like ours. So when I am asked where all the leaders have gone, I say nowhere. What has changed is the depiction of them as heroes.
Erika James is the Bank of America associate research professor of business administration at the University of Virginia’s Darden School.
The outrageous acts of indiscretion and impropriety that we witnessed throughout much of this decade are inexcusable. But just as it is inappropriate to say that those CEOs were merely heroes who fell from grace, it is equally inappropriate to suggest that the men and women who are admirably leading corporations are heroes. They are not. Rather, they are humans who have a big job, and who, in order to do that job well, need and deserve the support of their leadership team, their board, their family, and a host of other stakeholders. They do not need to be put on a pedestal.
Todd Henshaw, a professor at Columbia University, is academic director of Wharton Executive Education.
I’m sitting on Omaha Beach conducting a “recon” of the sites my colleague and I will use as a classroom for the next few days with a group from Wharton MBA for Executives.
As I walked around, I thought to myself how impossible this mission must have seemed before the assault, and how many times the campaign must have been in doubt when the outcome was in question. I marveled at how wide the beach is at low tide. I walked the cliff’s edge at Pointe du Hoc and thought about the men scaling the 100 feet under machine gun fire. I saw the remains of the artificial port envisioned and built at Arromanches, an innovation that enabled the entire invasion.
“Corporate heroes?” It’s difficult for me to put those two words together. In Normandy, I saw the names of heroes inscribed in stone on monuments, but in most cases these men who changed the world are nameless, anonymous benefactors who gave Europe another shot at freedom. These are heroes.
How did these men prepare themselves for the almost impossible mission? How did they overcome the fear of death? How did their leaders help them understand what was being asked and required of them? How did they have the confidence to overcome the wide beaches, high cliffs, enemy fire, the inevitable doubt that emerges when men are thrown into chaos?
I have no idea why we would ever use the term “hero” to refer to a corporate executive.
Sir Andrew Likierman is dean of London Business School. He is also non-executive chairman of the National Audit Office and a non-executive director of Barclays Bank.
When asked about the quality he wanted most in his generals, Napoleon replied, “Luck.” On this score Tony Hayward would not have got a job with Napoleon. Of course it could be argued that he failed to rise to the PR challenge, but the roots of the blowout problem were sown long ago when safety standards were set. Michael Dell, on the other hand, has been much more the master of his own destiny. And if you name a company after yourself, you’re creating quite some expectations about your own personal performance and behavior.
The common thread that binds Hayward and Dell together is that both their companies have long been the subject of admiration and emulation. That makes their fall from grace even more galling to the rest of us. If we can’t even trust the people we are emulating, what does that say about our own judgment?
But the mistake is ours, aided and abetted by the press. Individuals are put on pedestals, giving rise to unreasonable expectations, only to be cast down when things go wrong. We need to be careful about what we expect, and learn from the mistakes of leaders as well as from their heroics.
So where have all the heroes gone? The same way as the heroes before them. Those who have the spotlight of publicity and fame come and go. We should look and learn, while reminding ourselves that uncritical admiration is probably best avoided after the age of 5.
Warren Bennis is professor of business at the University of Southern California.
Just about every decade I write a heated screed mimicking the ’60s flower song wondering where all the “leaders have gone.”
My latest attempt was in 2002 when Enron and Ken Lay were making headlines. I started with a long-forgotten Kipling poem:
But I’d shut my eyes in the sentry-box.
So I didn’t see nothin’ wrong.
The gist of my ’02 piece can be stated simply, and its thesis is, if not identical, then remarkably similar to the BP disaster. Ken Lay’s failing was not simply his myopia or cupidity or incompetence. It was his inability to create a company culture open to reality, one that discourages workers from delivering bad news — just like Tony Hayward, who didn’t want to hear the concerns of the oil drillers marooned on that catastrophic rig, Deepwater Horizon.
How can an organization be honest with the public if it is not honest with itself? I asked. I do not believe that the CEOs of today are any worse or better than they were, let’s say, a hundred years ago. It’s just that the stakes are higher and more of us are affected by the dominance of a free-market economy.
The question remains: Will our corporate heroes or villains of the future learn from the sentries who didn’t see nothin’ wrong?
Tags: Corporate Heros, Leaders, Leadership, Organizations, The Washington Post, Truth Teller, Workplace Communication
Posted in Business, Communication, Executive Teams, Leadership | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
There is a great interview by Adi Ignatuis with Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks that is well worth reading.
Here are some thoughts after reading the article. Schultz and Starbucks have been fascinating to follow over the years. The original concept of community hangout, “Let’s meet at Starbucks” was a standard for so many folks; it moved to “OMG, another Starbucks, when is enough enough“?
I began to think Schultz was a reincarnation of King Midas. Remember that king? He wished to be the richest ruler in all the lands and he was kindly granted that wonderful wish. Told that whatever he touched would turn to gold, he was a happy camper. Silverware turned to gold, drinking goblets turned to gold, coffee mugs turned to gold.
The story is a “BEWARE” story. When Midas’s daughter ran to give him a hug, you guessed it, she also turned to gold. And the moral of the story is to question when is enough enough?
For a period of time it sure looked like Shultz was on a Midas mission to rule the world through lattes and the like. Then the bubble burst, and I remember thinking it serves him right. There are more important subjects to tackle, like global warming and oil spills.
Back to the interview; there is one part where I thought, hey maybe it would be worth it to meet Howard Schultz and have a dopper espresso macchiato with him. He was asked for an example of a decision he had made that Wall Street didn’t like.
His answer: health care. He just couldn’t cut the benefits, no matter how perfect it was to do so during a down economy. A shareholder complained and he stood his ground, telling the man to sell his stock, he would not budge on this issue.
This brought to mind the Schultz I first read about years ago, the man I decided to check out and follow as a leader of substance. That Howard was determined to always have full health care for his employees after growing up watching his father struggle. His dad had an accident and was laid off from his job and the family lost their health care benefits.
At a young age Schultz internalized the pain of this family crisis and vowed to be more caring if he ever made it in business. During the recent downturn for Starbucks he could have stayed in the Midas mentality. Instead he stayed true to himself.
In the interview he goes on to say that it is important for him to look in the mirror and feel he has done something that has meaning and relevancy, something people can respect. He stayed with his heart and took on “the street“.
Question: what do you see when you look in the mirror?
Tags: Authentic, Enough is Enough, Family Crisis, Father, Healthcare, Howard Schultz, Integrity, King Midas, Leaders, Leadership, Meaning, Relevance, Respect, Starbucks, Wall Street
Posted in Character, Health, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Money | No Comments »
Monday, July 12th, 2010
Ways of Leading
We are all searching for healthier and more effective ways to lead our lives. Mike Robbins gives a good summary of how to be a transparent and authentic leader. Please note my comment at the end of the article.
The Value of Vulnerable Leadership by Mike Robbins
Some of us have specific leadership roles in life — we manage other people in our job, we’re the head of a company, team, committee, or organization, we’re involved in school or community activities where our job is to lead others, we write, speak, or coach other people about taking their lives to the next level, and much more.
And, even if we don’t hold a specific position of leadership in what we do, just about all of us have the opportunity to be leaders in various ways. In our families, with our friends, in our community, and in our work — we have the ability to influence others in a positive way and many of us have a deep desire to impact those around us.
What if instead of obsessing about being smart, qualified, strong, powerful, innovative, creative, and other conventional leadership qualities, we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable as a way of freeing us up from the intense pressure we often feel as leaders and as a way to influence people in an authentic way?
While it may seem counter-intuitive and can sometimes be a little scary, being a vulnerable leader is what I think is needed (and often missing) in our businesses, schools, churches, communities, governments, and our world today.
Here are some key principles of vulnerable leadership:
- Admit and own your mistakes We all make mistakes, especially as leaders. The more willing we are to admit and own our mistakes (not make excuses, point fingers, or avoid responsibility) the more others will trust us and want to follow our lead. Taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends for the mistakes we make are not always easy things to do, but they’re essential for us to have true credibility with the people around us.
Fear and insecurity are inseparable from being human and being a leader. We all get scared, but too often deny or avoid it, so as not to look weak. However, admitting our fear and sharing it with others does a few important things. First of all, it can free us up from the fear itself. Second of all, it allows others to realize we’re human. Third, it gives the people around us permission to feel and express their own fear, which is essential for individuals and groups if they’re going to come together and move through adversity. Sharing our fears with others is not something we do to make excuses or to dump our “stuff” onto other people, it’s a bold act of vulnerable leadership and something that can have a profound impact on those around us.
It’s important for us to have a sense of humor and not get too full of ourselves, which is something many of us do, particularly as a leader. As I jokingly say to my wife Michelle sometimes, “Do you have any idea how important I think I am?” We must laugh at ourselves, notice when we get too serious, and have enough self awareness to keep things in a healthy perspective.
We’re always going through a process of growth, discovery, and challenge in life — especially as leaders. This process doesn’t have to be difficult or painful, although sometimes it can be. The more transparent we are about our own process and the more willing we are to let the people around us know what we’re dealing with, learning, and challenged by, the more we let them know who we truly are, give them insight into how we operate, and create an environment around us that is open, authentic, and conducive for individual and collective growth.
As leaders most of us like to help others, but often we have a difficult time asking for and receiving help. Requesting help can be perceived, especially by us, as an admission of weakness or an acknowledgment that we’re not capable of doing something. However, all of us need help and support — and in some cases, we need a lot of it. Being the kind of leader who is comfortable enough with yourself and the people around you to admit when you don’t know something, can’t do something, or simply need help in making something happen, is not a sign of weakness; it’s both a sign of strength and an opportunity to empower others in an authentic way.
Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken (Wiley). More info – www.Mike-Robbins.com
Share your fear and insecurity
Don’t take yourself too seriously
Share your own process, journey, and challenges
Ask for and receive help from others
Comment by Sylvia Lafair:
Good check list for all of us; and agreed, we all have an opportunity to lead, regardless of professional status. However, unless we learn to bring to light hidden parts of ourselves, it is impossible to know what really scares us, why we often dance around admitting mistakes and being vulnerable, or why it is so hard to ask for help.
In “Don’t Bring It to Work” there are 13 behavior patterns that we learned from our original organization, the family that we bring into our work, community organizations, friendships, and love relationships. It is when we put some elbow grease in to Observe, Understand and Transform these patterns (denier, victim, martyr, avoider, etc.) that we find the way OUT of old, ingrained patterns. Then what Mike suggests really can make a difference.
Tags: Don't Bring It to Work, Family, Leaders, Leadership, Observe, Organization, OUT Technique, Relationship Expert, Transform, Understand, Ways to Lead, Workplace Relationship Expert
Posted in Communication, Leadership, leadership development, Patterns, Relationships | No Comments »
