Posts Tagged ‘History’
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011
Lots of deaths of powerful men in the past year. Many have been dictators who had tons of money and little integrity.
Think about these 3 questions:
- Ever wonder why we permit these men to “rule” us?
- Ever wonder why millions will stay quiet and let those who have found the path to brute power to keep it?
- Ever think about how we can make a better difference and make a better world?
Vaclav Havel was an actor, a playwright, an artist. Maybe there is a clue there. The arts are a way to the heart. Even the word eARTh gives us a clue. Expressing oneself through music, movement, painting, poetry, theater touches the deep core of who we are. Maybe, just maybe, we should be finding leaders who have a different kind of power to lead us. Havel had that mysterious and important blend. What about you?
Click above to read the article by Barry Wood, Economics Journalist at HuffPost World.
Tags: Accountability, art, Economy, expression, History, Huffington Post, Leaders, Leadership, Politics, Power, Psychology, Yaclav Havel
Posted in Accountability, Economy, History, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Politics, Power, Psychology, Reflections | No Comments »
Friday, March 18th, 2011
Sometimes the best leadership development comes in the form of film or literature. As we can see ourselves and others from a broader perspective.
I am finishing a beautifully written book “How to Read the Air” by Dinaw Mengestu. Powerful, beautifully written and filled with tips for leaders who look at their direct reports and colleagues and haven’t a clue about who they are, where they came from, and what makes them tick.
The book is about a first generation American who discovers that his family’s past still lives within him. The main character of the book, Jonas grew up in the Midwest. Yet, his life experiences are far from the rural landscape of his childhood in Illinois.
His father has a big temper, his mother big silences. He had grown into a self-numbing young adult. How they became who they became was part of a journey to adulthood for a man who saw himself as a stranger in a strange land.
The haunting sense of displacement and isolation that shaped his family, that shaped his behavior began in Ethiopia where his parents were children to the Sudan, through Europe and finally to the United States.
The deep question that resounds through the story is sadly an all too common one: How many generations does it take to heal the wounds of war?
While no one needs to share the depth of their personal stories at work, skilled leaders are aware that we do bring our families to work with us, those invisible ties that bind. Just being sensitive to this will make a leader a better visionary and a better mentor.
This level of understanding is core to our Total Leadership Connections program. My belief is that we can be more helpful as leaders when we can simply show compassion with a word or a nod.
Tags: Book. Leaders, Dinaw Megestu, Europe, Film, History, How to Read the Air, Leadership, Leadership Lessons, Literature, Sudan, Tips
Posted in Conflict, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Patterns | No Comments »
Monday, March 1st, 2010
There is an interesting new TV program airing this Friday; “Who Do You Think You Are?” based on finding the long lost ancestors of celebrities.
This is not just for the rich and the famous. I believe we all would benefit from finding out more about where we came from, and what patterns of behavior were handed down from generation to generation.
Most of us are interested in ourselves and don’t care all that much about the stories of those who came before us. We are polite when grandparents talk about “walking miles to school on dirt roads in flimsy shoes with only an apple for lunch.” We say to ourselves that times have changed and that was then, not the way it is now. We want to stay in the present and not look back.
So, what is the value of searching for ancestors and finding out more about where we came from? Lisa Kudrow, of “Friends” fame and producer of the new series put it clearly “We always forget how important history is. It informs everything that happens after.”
In “Don’t Bring It to Work”, there is a way to begin the search for your own history, because Kudrow is right, the past does inform everything that happens after. In the book is an outline of a “Sankofa Map”. The word Sankofa comes from Ghana and means “clear the past to free the present”.
What we know we can change, what remains hidden, can haunt us. No, it is not possible to know all the details; that is not what matters. What matters is finding the themes that have tumbled through our histories. So, often with a little time and willingness to dig down, the pieces of our personal histories are available to us.
It is so important for leaders to take the concept of self awareness into the long-ago past and find out how the patterns handed down from great grandparents to grandparents to parents to children through the ages impact decisions made right now.
The stories we learn about can be fascinating and shed light on why we do what we do. Every family has its share of heroes as well as villains and we can then pull on the positive patterns and stand on the shoulders of the past rather than repeat it.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Health, History, Leaders, Leadership, Media, Money, Neuroscience, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, Relationships, Sankofa
Posted in Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Health, History, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Media, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Psychology | No Comments »
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
The saga o
f John Edwards is more tragic than it is disgusting. Here is a man who has lied and lied, not just to the world, but most importantly, to himself. And my big question is why we, as a nation, are so gullible? Why did we take so long to see his charade?
Were there aspects of his tendency to cover the truth when he was running for President of the United States? He always posed with such a pretty face and spoke such pretty words. I remember having an annoying feeling in my gut that all was not right with his world and yet, and yet….it takes determination and a capacity for tenacity to even become a contender for the White House crown. He had credentials and had been vetted by his colleagues, deemed worthy of the job.
The day I knew he was down in the dirt of it was when he visited his “past relationship” late at night and on his way out was caught by a reporter and made a dash to run and hide. That made me cringe, thinking about how he would have handled a major international crisis.
Now, I can only hope he finds a way to make peace with all of his relationships: his ill wife, his children with her, his “mistress”, and the love-child they brought into the world.
This type of situation goes deeply into the psyches of the next generation, and the next. In our Total Leadership Connections program, participants are asked to chart their family history – to learn what patterns of the past have influenced their present thinking and behavior. It is an eye opening process that helps leaders become clear about what “baggage” they carry into their important jobs.
Perhaps all captains of industry, all leaders of organizations, all who are in positions of power for the public good need to take the time to do what we have named the “Sankofa Map”. The term Sankofa is from Ghana, from its mythology and means “clear the past to free the present”.
The wisdom of older cultures is that they took into account the behaviors of ancestors. There was a sense that what was done would impact both present and future generations. These concepts might serve us well in this day of instant gratification and power paradigms.
For John Edwards, Elizabeth, et al., I can only hope that there is a period of honesty and truth telling that can begin the long, arduous process of clearing the past to free the present.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Business, Communication, Consulting, Emotions, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, History, John Edwards, Leaders, Leadership, Media, neuropsychology, Neuroscience, pattern aware, Patterns, Sankofa
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Honor, Leaders, Leadership, Marital coaching, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Political distrust, Politics, Power, Psychology, The media, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Friday, January 8th, 2010
I saw an article in The Citizen-Times.com, Ashville North Carolina that struck a cord with me. Michael Steele, chairman of the Republican National Committee, in promoting his book, referred to Native Americans as “injuns”.
How many times have racial slurs slipped into a talk and ignored? When do we all stop and say “No more!”? Why is there still a propensity to put down groups of people, to make them seem less than?
In my work with cultural sensitivity and diversity, I teach that it comes from a deep, dark place in individuals and in groups. It is a safety device attempting to ward off the threat of “others”. “If they are not like me, they must be a danger to me.”
This kind of thinking lives in the older parts of the social brain and has caused wars and constant disaffection among people.
“Injun”, is no different than “kike”, “spic”, “dago”, “nigger”, or “gook” - it is intended to target a person or group of people, and make them seem unimportant, insignificant. It is a method of making those who use these terms to feel powerful and in control, and makes those who once felt like victims become victimizers. This is sadly, a common psychological mechanism that needs much more exploration, not just in personal matters, of physical or sexual abuse, but also in cultural abuse.
In her article, B. Lynne Harlan, a member of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians, raises the vital question: “When are we going to hold our leaders to a higher standard”?
This is a key discussion point for all programs: Be they MBA’s, leadership development, executive education, conflict resolution, team building, corporate governance, and the like.
It is time for all of us to look at the crusted, corroded arrogance and dissention that lives in our personal psyches and begin to clean up the inner pollution that causes as much damage as the toxins caused by machines in our external environment.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Economy, Education, Emotions, Ethics, Executive Teams, Family-Based Patterns, Health, History, Leaders, Leadership, Media, neuropsychology, Neuroscience, Patterns, Power, Relationships, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Health, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Media, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, The media | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Tiger Woods’ stories are touching almost every aspect of life in organizations today. Does he owe anything to the golfing community where he is seen as a CEO of sorts? Does he owe anything to his previously adoring public? Of course he owes much to his family, not just wife and children. What about his mother, and mother-in-law who fainted, assumingly from the stress, last week?
One area that could possibly shed some light on the issues of today would be to look at the life Tiger had as a youngster and how that has played out in his adult work-life. This is simply another perspective to consider. Having worked as a family therapist for years, I know first hand that what goes on in someone’s, anyone’s home is multilayered and complex and cannot be analyzed into two simple categories of good Tiger, and bad Tiger.
Maybe this could be a “wake up call” to parents who are uni-focused on the success of their children, perhaps at the cost of their emotional development. The same can be said for many other sports and media stars that were put into little boxes and became objects to be packaged for the world to adore.
Andre Agassi talks about the tennis court as a prison. Judy Garland never recouped from being a child star without the opportunity to be a child. Macaulay Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, and of course, Michael Jackson.
This is not about pointing fingers of blame; it is about redirecting our priorities. How many parents suggest that their youngsters, especially those with a wee bit of talent, focus on that strength at the expense of becoming a whole person?
All leadership development programs need to address this insanity of what success really means. Think about it – with all his homes, yacht, fame and money, what does Tiger have in terms of contentment and joy? Was he running after sex or something deeper and more illusive that is still haunting him from his childhood? Let me know what you think.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Fear, Health, History, Leaders, leadership programs, Media, Money, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Ethics, Fear, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Media, Money, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Thursday, September 17th, 2009
I am delighted to receive responses to my blog request for life defining sentences. Today enjoy the blog based on how one of our “Total Leadership Connections” facilitator’s looks at her life process and the essence of leadership development from a universal perspective. Along with working at Creative Energy Options, Jocelyn Goss is an educator at a Church in Philadelphia, Pa. Enjoy!
“When we are running about life doing our own thing, casting our own dreams and wishes and thoughts and desires, there are things that are taking place in our life that we cannot see and have no knowledge of that are the actual and inevitable plans for our life, the plans and purposes that we were actually created to possess and live out. There comes a divine time when that plan is cast and set into place, and it makes no difference where you are, what you are doing or who you may think you are, the plan gets cast, regardless and there is nothing that you can do about it. It just gets cast because it’s all a timing thing and there is nothing we can do to orchestrate universal timing. Once its cast, you can choose to participate or not. You can choose to continue to do your own thing… but I have found the most life changing thing is when you find the courage to move out on what is your predestined design for your life, even though you may have great fear and it may take you way off course of your intended self chosen life destination, but I can attest that taking that journey into what is your designed destiny, changes your life instantly. Its taking that trust walk into destiny, and that trust walk takes you into places you never new existed, beyond anything that you could have imagined your life to be. It allows you to live a life that is full of grace and ease. How many of us are struggling and toiling to keep our own developed dreams and desires alive and functioning within our own strength. When you take a deep breath and trust the authorized destiny for your life, your life changes. You have been created for a purpose, you have a job that no one else but you can do. Move into your created purpose and let it change your life into one that is beyond your expectation!”
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Change, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Fear, History, Leadership, leadership programs, Life, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Ethics, Fear, History, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
It was Eleanor Roosevelt who said “You must do the thing you think you cannot do”. This is a great motto for today. This is a time to keep up your nerve!!!
What tactics have you used to keep from succumbing to anxiety and panic? What lessons have you learned from doing what seems impossible at the moment and then finding out it is possible that you did survive, you did succeed?
This fall is a time to renew your resiliency factor. Do something, anything that takes courage and looks like a “No way, Impossible” route. Here are some ideas. Take a back pack and go for a ten mile walk. Start at your front door and don’t have a plan in mind. Just start walking. I promise when you finish you will see your problems in a whole new light. Ideas will come fast and furious. So, start walking.
Would rather ride? Great. Get in the car and plan a one hour trip. At each crossroad just ask yourself “Left or Right” and go that way without further thought. You may be surprised where you end up. One man who did this decided to go for two hours and ended up at his college. He hadn’t been there for a decade and “mysteriously” ran into an old college buddy who was there to show his teen age son around. They started talking and a new business idea was formed.
Call someone you have not spoken to for a long time. It may seem like a stupid idea. So what! Just make the call to say “hello”. You don’t need an agenda past reconnecting. You never know what creative thoughts may be on the other end of the line.
Just think of what seems tough, uncomfortable, inconvenient, and do it. This is called a pattern interrupt. It will get you out of old thinking and push you into new possibilities.
Go to a seminar that is out of your realm of expertise. Take a cooking class if you don’t cook or a yoga class if you don’t yog. What I promise you is when you take a deep breath, get up your nerve, and do something different you will find it easier to resolve conflict, find collaborative ideas and, if nothing else, have a good story to tell that will make you feel full of vim and vigor. So, what are you waiting for, get going!
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, History, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Transformation
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Ethics, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Thursday, September 10th, 2009
I am continuing with the idea of storytelling and work. They say a picture is worth 1000 words. I believe a story is worth 1000 power points!
What is it that matters when you tell a story, to make a point? Basically it is the combination of the “Two T’s”: truth and transformation.
Let’s begin with the hero of your story. Often it is you; other times it can be an amazing or annoying boss, a delightful or dastardly co-worker, or a brave or boring direct report.
In any case the hero is one who faces obstacles, overcomes those obstacles, and returns to his or her position at work even better than before.
In our “Total Leadership Connections” program the third session is dedicated to taking the group through a variation of the hero’s journey. It takes folks from a phase of only looking at how incidents at work have impacted them to the place of looking at the situation from a systemic perspective. That means looking from the eyes of each person in your drama and making sure that the hero is one who helps the individuals and the situation change and transform to a better way of working together.
Who do you see as a hero leader? I am not talking about charisma. We have too many examples of those whose own power agendas have caused untold harm to families, companies, and countries.
I am talking about the heroes who can tell the truth about themselves, the situation which they know needs to change and the ethical ways they have done about making those changes.
If you wish to have your story in my new book about resilience you will be given full credit for what you have written. If however, you wish to remain anonymous, that request will be honored.
I will be pleased to speak with any of you who want to tell your hero’s story. If you would prefer to tell it to me rather than write it, just set a time with my assistant brooke@ceoptions.com.
Here’s to changing the world for the better one story at a time!
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Boss, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, History, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware, Patterns, programs, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Boss, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, History, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Transformation, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
Yesterday I offered free, signed copies of my book “Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success” to the first three people who had a life changing story and a sentence that underlined what had happened.
It will be an honor to post them on my blog. In our “Total Leadership Connections” program I have had the privilege of hearing many life changing stories. The second of the program’s four sessions is dedicated to Sankofa mapping. This is a time when business executives, high potential employees, leaders from both the profit and non profit sectors come together and learn about the patterns passed from generation to generation that helped form their inner core. The stories are all of our stories filled with courage, laughter, fear, betrayal, dissention, and transformation. Truth, we know, trumps fiction every time.
Sankofa, a word from Ghana means, “Clear the past to free the present”. When we do this we are able to be better leaders, better stewards of those who are in our employ.
Our stories are needed now, more than ever before. We are all going through a revision of who we are and what really matters. We are being more finely tuned to participate in a world that is being redefined by technology, earth changes, and global connectedness.
If we all begin to tell our life changing stories perhaps we can have an impact on the media. Hollywood, in particular, is losing the war on clichés. They are so intent on financial success there is a need to stay with stories from the past that have worked. They tell only those that are predictable. Most of us can predict the ending before the first third of the film is over.
What our overfed and undernourished culture is wanting are some new insights, some originality of thought that will make us see ourselves and the struggles of the times differently.
Let your story be told. It will help you redesign your thinking and help all those with whom you work and those you love.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Economy, Education, Ethics, Executive Teams, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, History, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Media, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, programs, Sankofa, Stress, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Fear, Health, History, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Media, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Reflections, Team Building, The media, Transformation, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
