Archive for the ‘Power’ Category
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
This is a time for women to pat themselves on the back for all the successes that have come in the last 60 years. The role of women has changed dramatically, and it has been mostly a quiet revolution.
But there have been some loud bumps and bleeps along the way, like the angry wife who took action to cut off her husband’s private parts, rather than just wish she could. With the rash of cheaters now making the headlines that may be something to rethink instead of all the shame-faced public apologies. Scratch that, it was just a wandering thought!
Since, within the next several months women will become the majority of the workforce, and we know there is power in numbers, it is an important time to think about what we, both female and male, want to have as change initiative, moving forward.
I would like to underline the importance of a partnership model. Women and men need to talk in a new and more effective way. It is about how we connect and relate around the things that matter most – our relationships and how to be stewards for the future generations.
Not enough air time has been given to these priorities, and as a society I believe we are suffering and self- medicating through substances, sex, and shopping.
There is a new feminism (what about a new ‘malism’) that takes into account the differences in the way men and women are wired. We need to find a middle way that takes into account how male and female brains process information. Not good or bad, just DIFFERENT.
Even more importantly, we need to take into account the legacy we hand to the next generation. So far, we, and that means all of us, have not gotten high marks here. What are we teaching our kids about what it means to be a woman, a man, a business person, a citizen, a human being?
The workplace is the place where change can happen and happen quickly. It is the place that has changed the most in the past century. It is the place that women and men can begin a true dialogue and real partnership can occur.
Tags: Celebrity cheaters, Change initiative, Cheaters, Female vs Male thinking, Feminism, Future generations, Models, Partnership model, Pulbic apologies, Relationships, Self-medicating, Substance abuse, Women vs Men, Women's revolution, Women's success
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Executive Teams, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Marital coaching, Media, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, The media, Transformation, Trust, Uncategorized, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Monday, February 1st, 2010
Leadership and creativity are linked at a core level. Great leaders are also artists in many areas. The following amazing photographs show us how, if we trust each other and find that core creative place, we can make the ordinary extraordinary!
In Japan, rice is essential to life, both for food and as a way of life. Rice planting season has made this very small island culture into one where there is cooperation and collaboration. You can only plant and harvest rice in certain seasons, and it takes the effort of many to make this happen. Once the basics of planting are no longer an issue, look at the creativity that can come with doing the same thing year after year and making it new and unique.
As I looked at these photographs I wondered who came up with the ideas. Then I thought……………who cares? It is a team effort, and the results speak for themselves. Having been to Japan many times, I was always fascinated by the lack of “me, me, me” ego so often seen in the West. Collaboration is at the heart of the hard work that went into these works of art. Enjoy.
Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan, but this is no alien creation. The designs have been cleverly planted.
Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different color rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields.
As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge.
A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants. The colors are created by using different varieties. This photo was taken in Inakadate, Japan.
Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies. This was created by precision planting and months of planning by villagers and farmers located in Inkadate, Japan.
Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives are featured on the television series Tenchijin, appear in fields in the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture of Japan.
This year, various artwork has popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan, including designs of deer dancers. Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan, such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers
The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed Kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed Tsugaru, a Roman variety, to create the colored patterns in the time between planting and harvesting in September.
The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square meters of paddy fields.
From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.
Closer to the image, the careful placement of the thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen.
Rice-paddy art was started there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew from meetings of the village committees. The different varieties of rice plants grow alongside each other to create the masterpieces.
In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year. But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention.
In 2005, agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous rice paddy art.
A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot planting of the four differently colored rice varieties that bring the images
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Collaboration, Diversity, Economy, Family-Based Patterns, Japanese art, Leadership, leadership programs, Natural art, Resilience, Rice, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Collaboration, Communication, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, Super Achiever, Team Building, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
The saga o
f John Edwards is more tragic than it is disgusting. Here is a man who has lied and lied, not just to the world, but most importantly, to himself. And my big question is why we, as a nation, are so gullible? Why did we take so long to see his charade?
Were there aspects of his tendency to cover the truth when he was running for President of the United States? He always posed with such a pretty face and spoke such pretty words. I remember having an annoying feeling in my gut that all was not right with his world and yet, and yet….it takes determination and a capacity for tenacity to even become a contender for the White House crown. He had credentials and had been vetted by his colleagues, deemed worthy of the job.
The day I knew he was down in the dirt of it was when he visited his “past relationship” late at night and on his way out was caught by a reporter and made a dash to run and hide. That made me cringe, thinking about how he would have handled a major international crisis.
Now, I can only hope he finds a way to make peace with all of his relationships: his ill wife, his children with her, his “mistress”, and the love-child they brought into the world.
This type of situation goes deeply into the psyches of the next generation, and the next. In our Total Leadership Connections program, participants are asked to chart their family history – to learn what patterns of the past have influenced their present thinking and behavior. It is an eye opening process that helps leaders become clear about what “baggage” they carry into their important jobs.
Perhaps all captains of industry, all leaders of organizations, all who are in positions of power for the public good need to take the time to do what we have named the “Sankofa Map”. The term Sankofa is from Ghana, from its mythology and means “clear the past to free the present”.
The wisdom of older cultures is that they took into account the behaviors of ancestors. There was a sense that what was done would impact both present and future generations. These concepts might serve us well in this day of instant gratification and power paradigms.
For John Edwards, Elizabeth, et al., I can only hope that there is a period of honesty and truth telling that can begin the long, arduous process of clearing the past to free the present.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Business, Communication, Consulting, Emotions, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, History, John Edwards, Leaders, Leadership, Media, neuropsychology, Neuroscience, pattern aware, Patterns, Sankofa
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Honor, Leaders, Leadership, Marital coaching, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Political distrust, Politics, Power, Psychology, The media, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
Recently Jeff Zucker, President and CEO of General Electric Co’s NBC Universal Entertainment, told PBS interviewer Charlie Rose: “It’s the sign of a leader to step up and say you know when something’s not working, and have the guts to reverse it”.
By the end of the interview, it was questionable whether Zucker, like Conan O’Brien, would be fired. That is the way we work. Take risks, win and get the equivalent of an Oscar. Lose, and get the boot!
Is there a better way? Can there be a middle ground where what is learned when risk- taking fails gets dissected, and gives those in the loop a chance to reform their thoughts and actions in a more positive way?
What is so often the case is that the “loser” is so busy defending what has happened and is feeling the heatwaves of being under constant attack, there is no time to learn from what has been going on.
As a culture, we are so addicted to winning, and accept that as the only way. We lose, yes – lose both sight of the value of the down side of risk taking, as well as the human cost of defending, explaining and justifying behavior.
Jeff Zucker may be in a stagnant time in his career. He may be used up in his CEO role. On the other hand, he may well be in a fertile time of learning from the mess and come up with some real and juicy ideas that will get NBC out of the doldrums. If he is fired, he will lose and so will whoever replaces him. There is always backlash where the pendulum often swings to the opposite side. Thus, conservative, risk adverse individuals often follow the risk takers and progress is paralyzed.
So, NBC, a paraphrase from the song “Give peace a chance”, think about it and “Give Jeff a chance”.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Economy, Education, Emotions, Ethics, Executive Teams, Family-Based Patterns, Leadership, Management, Media, Money, pattern aware, Politics, Power, Stress, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Media, Money, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Super Achiever, Team Building, The media | No Comments »
Friday, January 8th, 2010
I saw an article in The Citizen-Times.com, Ashville North Carolina that struck a cord with me. Michael Steele, chairman of the Republican National Committee, in promoting his book, referred to Native Americans as “injuns”.
How many times have racial slurs slipped into a talk and ignored? When do we all stop and say “No more!”? Why is there still a propensity to put down groups of people, to make them seem less than?
In my work with cultural sensitivity and diversity, I teach that it comes from a deep, dark place in individuals and in groups. It is a safety device attempting to ward off the threat of “others”. “If they are not like me, they must be a danger to me.”
This kind of thinking lives in the older parts of the social brain and has caused wars and constant disaffection among people.
“Injun”, is no different than “kike”, “spic”, “dago”, “nigger”, or “gook” - it is intended to target a person or group of people, and make them seem unimportant, insignificant. It is a method of making those who use these terms to feel powerful and in control, and makes those who once felt like victims become victimizers. This is sadly, a common psychological mechanism that needs much more exploration, not just in personal matters, of physical or sexual abuse, but also in cultural abuse.
In her article, B. Lynne Harlan, a member of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians, raises the vital question: “When are we going to hold our leaders to a higher standard”?
This is a key discussion point for all programs: Be they MBA’s, leadership development, executive education, conflict resolution, team building, corporate governance, and the like.
It is time for all of us to look at the crusted, corroded arrogance and dissention that lives in our personal psyches and begin to clean up the inner pollution that causes as much damage as the toxins caused by machines in our external environment.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Economy, Education, Emotions, Ethics, Executive Teams, Family-Based Patterns, Health, History, Leaders, Leadership, Media, neuropsychology, Neuroscience, Patterns, Power, Relationships, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Health, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Media, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, The media | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
If you are an executive leader, human resource professional, management consultant, or emerging high potential manager, it is vital for you to understand what goes on inside the heads and hearts of employees to help them become the best they can be. That is your golden globe or Oscar – to help people into excellence.
The more you know how your words and actions impact others, the better you can be at directing a situation to a positive end point. Take for example, the almost universal craving for chocolate. Godiva has made a fortune from knowing how to package this desire into beautifully crafted candy. You can take the newest knowledge from neuroscience and do the same.
Did you ever wonder if we have a “chocolate gene” hidden somewhere in our biology? Actually the answer is in the limbic system of the brain. One study by Matthew Lieberman and Golnaz Tabibnia indicated that people were more positive when a dollar was split fairly giving each individual 50 cents than when they received $8 and another person received $17 out of a $25 bounty. Interesting, more money was not the issue, it was one of fairness. Other studies have indicated that the same feeling of satisfaction that we get from chocolate occurs when we are treated fairly.
How does that affect you at work? If you are the CEO of a company and you treat your senior team fairly, there will be a satisfaction factor beyond bonuses and appreciation awards. If you are a project manager and you are really careful not to “play favorites”, you will find there is more cooperation and also more creative problem solving.
Many of the HR issues that cause feverish sweats in companies are due to the fairness factor. People are often willing to fight ‘to the death’ when they feel they have been treated unfairly. Most class-action suits are fairness based. They cost huge amounts of goodwill, along with the money.
Think about how your actions impact the social brain and the limbic system where threat and hostility are activated. Then stop and decide how you can handle a situation in a more even handed way. It’s like giving chocolate to a baby!
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Conflict, Cooperation and teamwork, Diversity, Economy, Education, Emotions, Employee appreciation, Employee recognition, Ethics, Executive Teams, Fair treatment, Leadership, Matthew Lieberman and Golnaz Tabibnia, Psychology, Team Building, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Employee burnout, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Fear, Health, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, Transformation, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Tiger Woods’ stories are touching almost every aspect of life in organizations today. Does he owe anything to the golfing community where he is seen as a CEO of sorts? Does he owe anything to his previously adoring public? Of course he owes much to his family, not just wife and children. What about his mother, and mother-in-law who fainted, assumingly from the stress, last week?
One area that could possibly shed some light on the issues of today would be to look at the life Tiger had as a youngster and how that has played out in his adult work-life. This is simply another perspective to consider. Having worked as a family therapist for years, I know first hand that what goes on in someone’s, anyone’s home is multilayered and complex and cannot be analyzed into two simple categories of good Tiger, and bad Tiger.
Maybe this could be a “wake up call” to parents who are uni-focused on the success of their children, perhaps at the cost of their emotional development. The same can be said for many other sports and media stars that were put into little boxes and became objects to be packaged for the world to adore.
Andre Agassi talks about the tennis court as a prison. Judy Garland never recouped from being a child star without the opportunity to be a child. Macaulay Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, and of course, Michael Jackson.
This is not about pointing fingers of blame; it is about redirecting our priorities. How many parents suggest that their youngsters, especially those with a wee bit of talent, focus on that strength at the expense of becoming a whole person?
All leadership development programs need to address this insanity of what success really means. Think about it – with all his homes, yacht, fame and money, what does Tiger have in terms of contentment and joy? Was he running after sex or something deeper and more illusive that is still haunting him from his childhood? Let me know what you think.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Fear, Health, History, Leaders, leadership programs, Media, Money, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Ethics, Fear, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Media, Money, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
In a recent Psychology Today article, there was an old spin on the Tiger Woods affair. He did what he did, “because he could”, suggests the PhD psychologist. It was the aphrodisiac of power that lured him into “misbehaving”.
Remember when Bill Clinton had the whole world riveted with his shenanigans in the oval office? Lots of time went into the discussion of “should we care or not, and “whose business is it anyway”? and “it only belongs with the family”.
I could go on and on with names. Anyone remember Governor Mark Sanford? Elliot Spitzer? John Edwards? And if we continue to peel the onion back, we can find female names to add to the mix. Did Kate Gosselin “do it” with her security guard or not?
Why so much hype about what goes on in various bedrooms or motel rooms around the world? Is it just the love of gossip or, is it something else, something deeper in the generic psyche of people struggling to make sense out of relationships and what it means to commit to another?
Maybe the gossip, the endless articles, the “experts” on T.V. dissecting the reasons and back stories of the rich and famous are really our stories too – all of our stories. Maybe we, both men and women, want to make sense out of the commitment of marriage, out of the sacredness of family, out of how we should behave as models for future generations.
This appears to be a time of “radical transparency” when sexual and monetary transgressions are coming to light faster and more intently than in the past. It is too easy to brush this subject off with the “because s/he could” psychology.
Is there such a thing as sexual ethics? Is this the time for leadership development programs to tackle the issue of the ethics of how we relate to each other, to those we love, to sex, to money? Is this a time for teens to learn more than how to prevent pregnancy or just say “no” to sex, drugs, or cheating?
Now, I am not the type of prude that Europeans, who disregard most American, laugh about; those righteous individuals who spend so much time spying into the bedrooms of others and wagging their fingers at the results. I believe if folks want to carouse and test out different relationships, that is their prerogative. However, and this is a big HOWEVER, I do put out a plea for deeper discussion and understanding of the power of intimate relationships – actually, all relationships.
You see, I know that we can only get out of relationships as much as we are willing to put into them. So, if we dabble, well, don’t expect long term deep commitment back. And if we are willing to deep-dive into the mystery of relating, there are the priceless pearls that can only be retrieved from way at the bottom of the ocean of emotional and personal commitment.
It is time for us to break the patterns of the past that said “look away, ignore, deny, and avoid what is difficult and unpleasant”. It is time for all of us to ask what really matters and stop giving superficial answers to issues that are at the core of what it means to be a human being of integrity. It’s about you, it’s about me, and it’s about time!
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Money, pattern aware, Relationships, Stress, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Coaching, Communication, Ethics, Fear, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Marital coaching, Money, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
Do we ever really know another person? We see the frame, the face, and the clothes. We can guess about their preferences by where they live, the books they read, the work they do. And yet, do we ever know another?
In this era of celebrity watching, when the paparazzi make truckloads of money from shooting pictures of the rich and the famous, we think a wave of a hand from a car, or a snapshot on a beach will give us a clue to who they are so we can maybe, just maybe copy them and have some of their glory, some of their power.
And then, once in a while, another human being lets us in. We’ll never know all there is to know about them. Yet, we will know enough to stop the judging and the blaming. When that happens there is real cause for celebration.
As we learn about each other we can begin to redefine what leadership is and what the underlying meaning of power is. It becomes more than money, more than position, more than pictures in magazines. It is about truth and compassion.
For example: I recently read Tyler Perry’s newsletter. He qualifies as a power leader in the area of entertainment and the arts. He knows how to manifest lots of money through his films and is constantly creating new venues including an entire production company in Atlanta.
So who is Tyler Perry, the man? He let us in by sharing his story. It is a powerful one and his response to his life happenings make him a leader to honor and respect. He started his story by talking about viewing the new film “Precious” that is going to be a must see for all of us. Movies with meaning will touch us emotionally and this one hit the core of his childhood. I will not go into detail, go to his site to learn about him. What I do want to address is the fact that he was able to take the circumstances of his life and rather than be a victim he has chosen to be an explorer and look deeply into his life and find a better way than to replicate the past.
In my book “Don’t Bring It to Work” there is a process to map your life and look at the forces that formed you. The process is called Sankofa Mapping and it helps you clear the past to free the present. That is what Tyler Perry has done and reading his story can help each of us take the same steps in our own lives. That is where real power lives.
Tags: "Precious", Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Diversity, Emotions, Ethics, family patterns, Leaders, Leadership, leadership programs, Media, Patterns, Relationships, Resilience, Sankofa, Sanofka Mapping, Transformation, Tyler Perry
Posted in Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, Fear, History, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Media, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Reflections, Transformation | No Comments »
Monday, October 5th, 2009
I am one who tracks patterns rather than tornadoes. Actually they are not that different. One is a force of nature that can be traced and has many attributes that are predictable. It can be called the perfect storm. Behavior patterns also can be traced and if one looks closely there are predictable aspects that also cause perfect storms.
Recently I was talking with a colleague about how bad behavior at work seems to be coming to the surface faster and faster. We were looking at the super achiever pattern and how so many folks who need to be front and center are willing to step on or over anyone to get to the top. He mentioned a colleague who was,” like a tornado” and left lots of destruction in his path.
Until recently this guy was like the typical “teflon man” who got away with his “behind the scenes maneuvering”. Then others began to track his behavior and it became obvious that he would create a swirling storm upending relationships and careers and he was the only one who seemed able to stand steady with no collateral damage. That is, until now.
There seems to be a desire and demand for more integrity in the workplace, more honesty, and more truthfulness. And there is a group approaching critical mass that is not willing to stand on the sidelines and let the manipulators get off scot free.
Have we had enough of Ponzi schemers and folks who think they can blackmail others and get away with it?
I want to applaud David Letterman for his full disclosure without over-killing the subject. The tornado came straight at him and he found a way to respond without being devastated by it. His response is what I think radical transparency is all about. He did not blame nor attack. He took full responsibility for his own behavior, admitting that what happened, yes it did happen. He did not obsess nor deny, sensationalize nor discredit; quite a bit different than John Edwards.
These tornadoes will come. They will leave a path of destruction in their wake and the way we handle them is crucial for ourselves and for the next generation that is watching to learn how to stand steady in the face of major storms. Real leadership development training comes from real life not from reading case studies. Radical transparency is needed now more than ever if we are ever going to become pattern pioneers and change what has not worked in the past.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Business, Communication, Conflict, David Letterman, Emotions, Ethics, family patterns, Fear, John Edwards, Leadership, leadership programs, Media, pattern aware, Patterns, Resilience, Stress, Tornadoes, Transformation, Truthfulness
Posted in Accountability, Business, Communication, Conflict, Ethics, Fear, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Media, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Transformation | No Comments »
