Archive for the ‘Leaders’ Category
Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

What can we do to help each other face the challenges of an economic climate that changes with the weather?
There are no safe havens. Sears has been around forever and is closing stores. Old brands are dying, yet new ones will always come along to replace them.
What do we want from our leaders to help us with the tides of change?
The following article gives food for thought. So does my response. Enjoy.
Bringing the immigrant perspective to business leaders
Tags: Accountability, Behavior, Business, Conflict, Economy, Ethics, Huffington Post, Leaders, Leadership, Politics, Power
Posted in Accountability, Business, Character, Conflict, Economy, Ethics, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Politics, Power | No Comments »
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

Lots of deaths of powerful men in the past year. Many have been dictators who had tons of money and little integrity.
Think about these 3 questions:
- Ever wonder why we permit these men to “rule” us?
- Ever wonder why millions will stay quiet and let those who have found the path to brute power to keep it?
- Ever think about how we can make a better difference and make a better world?
Vaclav Havel was an actor, a playwright, an artist. Maybe there is a clue there. The arts are a way to the heart. Even the word eARTh gives us a clue. Expressing oneself through music, movement, painting, poetry, theater touches the deep core of who we are. Maybe, just maybe, we should be finding leaders who have a different kind of power to lead us. Havel had that mysterious and important blend. What about you?
Click above to read the article by Barry Wood, Economics Journalist at HuffPost World.
Tags: Accountability, art, Economy, expression, History, Huffington Post, Leaders, Leadership, Politics, Power, Psychology, Yaclav Havel
Posted in Accountability, Economy, History, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Politics, Power, Psychology, Reflections | No Comments »
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

This insightful blog brings up a multitude of questions about active leadership.
What do you do when things are tough and the “kids” are fighting?
Betsy's Page
-This is leadership? by Betsy Newmark
http://betsyspage.blogspot.com/2011/11/this-is-leadership.html
Tags: Accountability, Economy, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Politics, Sylvia Lafair
Posted in Accountability, Decision Making, Economy, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Leadership Strategies, Management, Politics | No Comments »
Thursday, November 17th, 2011
The “new” politics is happening. It is a return, or maybe a new turn to participatory human scale democracy. It is what is blossoming all around this country, all around the world. Modern technology is being used for good, not just fun or stimulation. The world is coming together in a new way, and as Robert Reich states, apathy is taking a hike!
The wave of involvement includes local grassroots initiatives, a redefining of power, and a way of getting to the core of issues that impact all of us. This is not about the 99%, it really is about the human desire for reaching potential and being altruistic; helping each other.
The “new’ politics is expressed by an “organic” worldview; it is inclusive rather than exclusive. The balance is between “CARE and DARE
” which is the meeting place of male and female ways of thinking and being.
It is in everyone’s nature to care and it is in everyone’s nature to dare, to take risks and make a difference. The evolving worldview that is being shaken loose is seen in the camaraderie of young and elder, diverse folks from diverse backgrounds who no longer are willing to be told what to do and how to live.
The statements from Berkeley California to Manhattan New York are one and the same. We all matter. The perspective is eclectic in detail, yet, generally affirms the human need for far more that material well-being alone. There is an exciting emphasis on holistic values that are life affirming and involve both inner trust in one’s deep beliefs of connectedness as well as group wisdom that we are all connected and no one wins unless we all do.
This is the core of what we teach in our Total Leadership Connections four session program. Come join us in the new wave of transformational leadership. Our new program begins in March 2012 and promises to be amazing and important at this time in the way the world is turning.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Collaboration, Communication, Education, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, leadership programs, Management, Politics, Psychology, Relationships, Sylvia Lafair, Total Leadership Connections, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Character, Collaboration, Communication, Community Relationships, Conflict Resolution, Consulting, Economy, Education, Equality, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Leadership Strategies, Management, Politics, Psychology, Relationships, Total Leaders, Transformation, Workplace Relationships, Young Leaders | No Comments »
Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

The following guest blog by Marty Wolff truly resonates with our view of leadership, it’s equally important to have the business skills and the inner skills to really be an effective leader. Enjoy his guest blog on the “Inner Game”.
Many of the master teachers have been reminding us that success, both personal and professional is an “inner game”. What happens on the inside will reveal itself on the outside. We have heard these comments from so many wise people over time, yet many of us still don’t understand the power of learning how to make this inner game work for our success.
In this context, success can be defined as achieving a certain tangible or intangible goal. Let’s avoid any detailed definitions of what goals are, let’s suffice it to say a goal is something you want to achieve, a place you want to be, or a state of mind that keeps you calm through good and not so good times.
I believe in the inner game. I have learned about it, practiced it and gained by the implementation of what I have learned. This knowledge has helped me stay on my game both personally and professionally.
So, here are the 10 steps that I believe will help you achieve YOUR success. These steps will also help you maintain a level of desired performance.
- Take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to you and the actions you take everyday. Don’t blame your spouse, your boss, the weather, the stock market or anything else. No matter what happens, if you have the right frame of mind you will take the right actions to move you to a different and better place.
- Read everyday. John Maxwell tells us that our success is the result of our daily agenda. Read something about business, the world, building relationships or other positive literature everyday. Feed your mind just like you feed your body.
- Mediate everyday. I have finally discovered the power of meditation. John Assaraf and Jack Canfield convinced me “success leaves clues”. If these two very successful people meditate everyday then it’s good enough for me. The funny thing is, the more my mind is going in circles, the longer I meditate. This takes real discipline on my part. For full disclosure and to keep your expectations in line, I meditate in the morning for any where from 15 to 45 minutes. This practice will help you focus on what is really important.
- Plan and take action on a business opportunity or personal goal that will benefit you in 6 to 12 months. Because we are so busy, we tend to let the day’s activities pull us along. That will find us at the day exhausted and with little satisfaction. If you are a business owner or a sales person this is very important. Thinking and planning for something to occur several months out, pulls you toward the goal. It energizes you. And when the time comes, which will come whether you planned or not, you will be so pleased that you set a goal and achieved it.
- Send out a gratitude note everyday. There is ample evidence that being grateful to people that you interact with has a positive effect on your thinking. Positive thinking leads to positive behavior, positive behavior leads to positive results.
- Work on a proposal everyday. If you don’t have one, create one. In business this is easy. If you do not have an active client you are working on, start to write a proposal on an account you have not even contacted yet, you will see yourself developing a plan to make them a client. For your personal life you may want to plan for a family reunion, a vacation, a new car or anything else you want to have or create 6 to 12 months down the road.
- Visualize your success. “See” it in your mind as if it is already accomplished. Athletes do this all the time. Statistics validate that athletes that “see” their success are in fact more successful than their competition.
- Exercise. Get physical everyday. For most of us our work days are very sedentary. We sit and work on a computer or some similar work.You need to move around as much as possible during the day. Take a walk at lunch, go to the gym before or after work. Try to get a minimum of 30 minutes vigorous exercise everyday. For me that is a brisk walk just about every morning. I’m describing physical exercise, however it is the “mind game” that gets you moving.
- Keep the promises you make to yourself. This practice can jump start your success plan. If you promise yourself to spend specific time with your family, then do it! If you promise yourself to make that extra sales call today, then do it! If you promise yourself you will lose 10 pounds in the next 60 days, then do it! Keep your promises to yourself. This will lead to you being a trusted family member and business associate.
- Finally. Affirm your worthiness. If you don’t believe you are worthy or deserve the success you seek, you will not get to where you want to go. If your self esteem needs work, then learn how to think better about yourself. You deserve peace and happiness.
I have been mentored by so many people over the years. They don’t know that, however through books, webinars, white papers, magazines etc. I have tried to learn how to improve. Improvement and excellence is never an accident, you need to work at it everyday. I suggest you pay attention to folks like John Assaraf, Jack Canfield, John Maxwell, Seth Godin, Bob Burg, Febienne Fredrickson, Janet Attwod, and Robin Sharma to name a few.
Good luck on your journey.
Marty is the CEO of Marty Wolff Business Solutions (MWBS). “We help people and their organizations perform better than they ever imagined”. Marty can be reached at marty@martywolffbusinesssolutions.com and his website is http://martywolffbusinesssolutions.com.
Tags: Accountability, Business, Coaching, Consulting, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management
Posted in Accountability, Advice, Business, Coaching, Consulting, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Leadership Strategies, Management, Reflections | 1 Comment »
Friday, November 4th, 2011
Yesterday I talked about the male brain under stress and the need to stimulate the brain to stay present by the click, tap, drum, or hum methods in meetings. I guess the click top pen was designed just for men to be able to handle the anxiety of difficult meetings.
Now what about the women?
It seems they have a different approach to stress and anxiety. Women’s brains are hard wired to connect the dots, to see how one thing is connected to another. This has to do with the fact that females have ten times more white matter in their brains. This white matter goes across both sides of the brain and everything has something to do with everything else.
So, when women get anxious in a meeting?
TOO MUCH INFORMATION! Yup, there is a tendency to talk about ALL the details in a project. Some women have mastered this addictive desire to tell it all while others are like that Chatty Cathy doll of yore and keep going until the battery starts to wear down.
Here is a rule of thumb when you are doing the talking: the more anxious, the more details. What you can do is tame the stress by some deep breathing, taking a bio break (what I like to call “liquid leveling”), even just deciding to stand up if you are sitting or sit down if you are standing. Anything to change your physical state even for a moment will help.
Details are good. Connecting the dots of how aspects of a situation fit together are important. However, too much of anything becomes toxic. So, ladies watch out for too many details.
How we relate in the workplace is one of the major aspects of our GUTSY WOMEN WEEKEND. Join us! The next one is scheduled on Friday evening November 11 through Sunday morning November 13 at The Country Place Retreat and Conference Center in White Haven Pa. Email maryjane@ceoptions.com or call 570 636 3858 for more details.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Patterns, Psychology, Relationships, Stress, Sylvia Lafair, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Advice, Business, Coaching, Communication, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Meetings, Neuroscience, Patterns, Psychology, Relationships, Stress, The Country Place, Uncategorized, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships | 2 Comments »
Thursday, November 3rd, 2011
Meetings can be boring, infuriating, or creative. Regardless of the exact emotion, they all are stress inducing. And with stress comes ways of responding that are hard wired in our brains. Knowing about how you tend t
o react and ways others are prone to react, gives you a leg up in how to handle your part during the encounter.
In my book, “Don’t Bring It to Work”, I discuss the 13 most common behavior patterns that show up in the workplace. Now, I would like to add the specific ways that are gender driven.
When men are under stress and exhaustion, there is a tendency to stimulate the brain to stay present to the situation at hand. Think about the last meeting you had and if there were any males in the room either clicking a pen, tapping a foot, drumming on the table or maybe even humming under their breath.
These are ways that the male brain says “pay attention and stay with the situation at hand”.
I learned about this phenomenon when consulting with a company whose senior team was furious with their boss. They found him to be, well, bossy. He was like a marine drill sergeant always demanding and belittling when what he wanted didn’t happen the way he wanted. You know the type.
In any case, it was time to tell the truth and become a more cohesive team. I knew we were making progress by the amount of time the CEO spent clicking his pen in the meetings. As the situation bended and morphed into one of more compatibility, the clicking was less intense.
Okay, now you know about the male brain under stress or exhaustion: click, tap, drum, hum. Tomorrow I’ll tackle the female brain.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Book, Business, Communication, Don't Bring It to Work, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, pattern aware, Patterns, Psychology, Relationships, Sylvia Lafair, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Advice, Books, Business, Character, Communication, Consulting, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Meetings, PatternAware, Patterns, Psychology, Relationships, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
Watching this amazing woman return to Congress during these contentious and dreary days of haggling sent a beam of light through the room where the polarization seems to never end.
Her blond hair is darkened and cut short; she is extremely thin and with minimal make-up, yet, beautiful in her simplicity. She is a walking miracle.
I can only wonder what her presence means to those she has worked with. I watched the replay of her waving and nodding and for a few moments attempted to walk in her shoes. I began to wonder if I would be capable of the tedious climb she has maneuvered and continues since that gruesome day in Tucson so many months ago.
Gifford is a model of tenacity. Nancy Pelosi pointed to the recuperating lady and said she is a model for our daughters. I concur. Yet, there are others. We sadly still seem to put the celebrity of those who make noise for no reason front and center. The Snookies and Gosselins of reality television are there. How many mothers can point to the meaningless characters on the reality shows and then point to our daughters and say “not on my watch?”
We need to keep people of courage and dignity front and center as models for our young. Who would you put there with Congresswoman Gifford?
Tags: CEO Inc., Congresswoman, Creative Energy Options, Gabby Gifford, Gifford, Gosselin, Leadership, leadership development, Leadership in action, meaningless characters on reality tv, Nancy Pelosi, Politics, reality television, Snooki, Sylvia Lafair, Tuscon shooting
Posted in Character, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Politics, Total Leaders, Will Power, Women in the workplace, Young Leaders | No Comments »
Friday, July 15th, 2011
When my daughters were little kids I did what moms do, I thought about what they would be when they grew up. Oh I envisioned all sorts of careers and family configurations. And then, like a smart mother, I decided their fates were best left to them.
My younger daughter Julie played with dolls from the minute she could hold one. She took our cat and dressed it in a diaper and pink cap, she drew pictures of happy families going on vacations, she loved being a girly girl.
Her older sister Mikayla was the artist who painted and wrote and sculpted and created vision after vision of new planets with other worldly characters.
There is something to this nature part along with nurture that is fascinating to watch. Julie is a great mom of two; a beautiful daughter and son. She closed her business, deciding to be a full time mom till both youngsters are launched in their school careers, and then she will see.
Mikayla has other ideas. She has been on a healing journey from a misdiagnosed case of Lyme’s Disease and it has led her to become an advocate of planetary sustainability. She used her talents in the arts and her new found knowledge of how we can sustain health through eating green. Her new website, superfoodfaeiries.com is so Mikayla, simple yet complex, pure yet elegant.
(Do I sound like a mom or what?).
That searcher for new lands is in her DNA. In her journey to find the best solution for chronic health problems that came out of lots of camping and a misdiagnosis she has become a voice in the movement to, in her words “be-green and be-live”.
I see in my grown daughters the seeds of who they would become in the way they picked toys and preferences when they were, well as tiny as faeries.
Tags: Artist, Daughters, Faeries, Girly Girl, Leadership, Super Food Faeries, Sustainability
Posted in Character, Family Conflict, Leaders, Leadership, Patterns, Relationships | No Comments »
Thursday, July 14th, 2011
Sometimes we can learn by sorting through the lives we see in film. Today, with all the sadness around bullying in schools (and summer camp) it may be a great time to pull out the film “Grease” and watch it with the kids to start a conversation about how to be with each other differently than in a bullying/victim way. I’d love to hear about other films you think may be helpful for families to watch together.
“Why a Parent’s Empathy Is Vital for a Bullied Girl — and Why It Often Goes Out the Window” by Rachel Simmons contributor – Huffington Post
When I did the original research for Odd Girl Out, I asked every bullied girl I interviewed to tell me what she needed most from her family. The answer truly surprised me. It wasn’t having the best solutions, calling the school or trying to act like everything was okay.
It was empathy.
Before you say, yeah, yeah, I figured that, hear me out. Now that I’ve been working with parents for a decade, I have seen up close how easy it is for empathy to go out the window. There are two reasons why parents struggle: First, when the alarm bells go off, we want to put out the fire. We assume — understandably — that we can make a child feel better by making her problem go away. Parents are habituated to this from the moment of a child’s birth: feed when they’re hungry, sleep when they’re tired, hold when they cry. We bypass empathy and go straight to the problem solving.
Click here to read the full Huffington Post article.
My Comment:
Bullying or being bullied is a complex relationship issue that includes both empathy, as the writer suggests, as well as some self delving on the part of the parents, school, or community.
In my book “
Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success” I suggest that behavior patterns (persecutor/
bully, victim, rescuer,
pleaser,
martyr,
avoider, etc.) come from the triad of family, culture, and crises.
Rather than point fingers at the “bad” one and protect the “victim” we need to create an avenue where there is dialogue that can happen at home that will lead to empowering those who are in this difficult play. A major part is for parents to look back at how they handled the tugs and pull of growing up and if they were the persecutor/victim/rescuer. Often just talking about this will help the youngster find new language and motivation to do things differently. Isn’t that what we are all looking for? Better ways to communicate and be part of a caring culture?
Our kids can stand on our shoulders if we help them look through the larger lens of a broader system. I suggest that watching “Grease” together and talking about it could be a great way to open the dialogue. Sandy and Rizzo both had to learn to handle the slings and arrows of life in a better way. This helps start the discussion by indirection and has helped many families.
Sylvia Lafair president Creative Energy Options (CEO Inc.)
Tags: Bully, Bullying in schools, CEO Inc., Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Creative Energy Options, Don't Bring It to Work, Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns that Limit Success, empathy, Grease, Grease the movie, Huffington Post, Leadership, Odd Girl Out, Rachel SUmmons, relationship management, Sylvia Lafair
Posted in Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Family Conflict, Leaders, Leadership, leadership development, Management, Patterns, Relationships, Transformation, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »