Archive for the ‘Health’ Category
Monday, December 26th, 2011
There are so many excellent projects for us to make a difference in 2012.
I believe nothing is more important that how we as women take a stand for bringing the next generation into our world.
Population control and having every child who is born being wanted at the right time is a major area to consider.
Monday, December 12th, 2011
Remember the ad that said “reach out and touch someone”? (In case you need a refresher, click the link) It is even more vital today when we are running full steam ahead and have so little time to stop and stress is our number one companion.
We know it is good to show random acts of kindness, to reach out and touch someone. Research indicates that not only is this the right thing to do as the holiday season gets into full swing, it is actually good for your health.
Monday, December 5th, 2011
It does appear that the time of apathy is dwindling. It seems like there are more and more people opening their windows and yelling out “I won’t take it anymore”.
Lee Woodruff’s blog is powerful in its honesty.
In my experience in executive coaching, I am always amazed and saddened at the number of vastly successful business men and women who have sordid tales from childhood that continue to show up in the workplace concerning their ability to trust, really trust those they work with. You see, once we have been “boundary beaten” as kids, we are always wary of what others will do to us, no matter how “nice” they appear. These are deep wounds that are often still open sores throughout life.
Monday, November 7th, 2011
At the Pa. Conference for Women, over 4,000 strong were messages about how to be your best self, how to use social media, and how to climb that mysterious ladder right up and through the glass ceiling.
However, one luncheon addresses implications for the future, not just of us, but of the very planet we live on and must nurture. It was the address by Christy Turlington Burns.
Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
I am not a super died in the wool feminist. However, I am definitely a woman who has gone through tons of iterations to find out who I am and my place on this fascinating planet of ours.
I have been a pleaser, a martyr, a rebel. I have been in meetings where, as the only woman I have taken the notes. I have also been in meetings where as the only woman I have said “no” to note taking.
I am a mother of two daughters and I watch as they weave their ways through life; where they stand in their power and where they hold back. I remember giving them toy trucks to play with and thumbing my nose at Barbie and Ken. When both of my girls became cheerleaders I held back my “you’ve got to be kidding” thoughts and figured it was just part of the journey.
Monday, November 15th, 2010
One of the exciting things about the internet is the fabulous opportunity to hear from so many people who have had similar issues. Divorce is complex and impacts so many lives that the Huffington Post has done a service letting us all see into each other’s lives; perhaps that will help us make more sense of our own. I’d love to hear from those of you who have thought through your own reasons for divorce and the aftermath and what you have learned.
Divorce: It’s Good for Children!
by: Jane Smiley
When I asked my older daughter what she thought of my divorce from her father (she is 32), she said, “Do you really think I wish we had remained in that suffocating little four-person family?” But my daughter is a pro-divorce radical. Even as a teenager, when she dated boys from nuclear families, she was open about how dull their lives were compared to ours–always the same few people sitting around after dinner, no step-brothers and sisters, half-brothers and sisters, foster brothers and sisters. Here we were with an extended family and none of the parents had had to defy the prescriptions of Zero Population Growth (she is strict about over-population). It was divorce that gave her the tribe of peers that she wanted, and she has never seen a downside.
I will say, though, that when I’ve defended divorce in the past–notably in an Op-Ed for the New York Times, the response has been outrage. In America, you are never supposed to treat divorce with anything but appalled lamentations. No type of family is better than an intact nuclear family, ever. That millions of Americans have voted with their feet for other types of families is just a sign of cultural failure, or personal failure (the personal failure of the divorced ones, of course–the married ones have at least kept it together, even if…well, I won’t go into the cost of keeping it together. I come to bury divorce, not to praise it. Amen.)
So, let me not praise divorce. Let me just offer a few suggestions about how to make it good for the children.
1. No United Front. People are quite frequently eccentric. Grown-ups quite frequently do not agree on basic issues like discipline of the children, the balance of power within the marriage, budgeting, running the household, sex, how the world works, etc. When they attempt to present a united front for the children, this can come to be, basically, a lie, as in “Daddy and I love each other very much, and we agree on everything, especially what is good for you.” If the reality is that Daddy and I don’t know what in the world we agree on or whether we actually love each other, then the dissonance between the presentation of the united front and what the child sees for him or herself can undermine the child’s sense of reality. Once the parents are divorced, Mom and Dad are able to discuss with the children those things that they differ on. That doesn’t mean either one can say, “Gee, your ___ is a full-fledged mindless jerk.” A better approach: when the child says, “Why does ___ do that?”, the parent says. “Well, here is how ___ sees it. Here are some reasons for that. It’s possible to agree or disagree with that point of view, but I see it differently, and here’s why.” A steady diet of this, I think, allows the children not only to differentiate between the parents, but also to differentiate between lots of points of view, and to develop a point of view of his or her own. Most importantly, his or her sense of reality is not undermined by a determined effort on the part of the parents to deny reality.
2. More Siblings. I was an only child. I’ve known only children. From this experience, I do believe that the children should outnumber the parents. Parents are powerful. Children need friends and allies as well as playmates and antagonists. They need a cohort of peers to liven the place up and counterbalance the parents’ ideas. Combined families often get bad reviews, but the family my children got when they traded away “the suffocating four-person” nuclear one is one that has benefited all of them. My daughters got step-siblings with whom they have lifelong relationships and a half-brother they love, and my son got an older step-brother who has been an excellent example for him, and a good friend. The only siblings I have are half-siblings. My nuclear family would have been an extra-suffocating threesome. Instead, I have an interesting brother and sister, in-laws, and darling nephews.
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
Thursday, March 25th, 2010
Every so often you meet an elegant leader who stands far above most. That is the case with Canadian scientist David Suzuki. He is a world changer whose love of the environment, nature, the planet seems to ooze from every pore in his body.
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
I am looking at the trees and the rich, brown, fertile earth I have not seen here at The Country Place, our Pocono retreat center, since, well, since before Christmas.
There was always a blanket of snow that finally the big rains this weekend washed away. It is warm enough to open a window and let the beginning smells of spring enter my nostrils. It is a rich, woodsy smell, the smell of green and growth.