Posts Tagged ‘Accountability’
Friday, May 7th, 2010
All workplace relationships include personal stories that are often buried under the stresses and strains of getting the job done. We then never get to know each other past a quick “hello” and “see you tomorrow”. When a situation occurs that is life changing it not only changes the individual or individuals involved, it can also change the entire organizational culture. Jay Steinfeld shows us the power that rests with individuals who are willing to become self aware, explore the connection between personal and professional life, and make changes that are deep and profound. The courage to change, a core of all leadership development, is written in his words and actions.
How Empowering My Staff Powers My Business
by Jay Steinfeld, as told to Jennifer Alsever
After running two Houston window blind stores for more than a decade, Jay Steinfeld and his wife and business partner moved most of the business to the Web in 1996, founding Blinds.com, now a $50 million business and the No. 1 seller of blinds online. Yet after his wife’s death in 2002, Steinfeld underwent a personal transformation that changed how he did business.
Blinds.com CEO Jay Steinfeld
Ten years ago, I wasn’t as nice of a guy as I am now. I seldom complimented anyone. I wanted everything done my particular way, and I reamed out people when they failed, even if they did 90 percent of the job right. Then my wife Naomi died in 2002. We were married for 26 years. She was my best friend and my partner in business. Naomi’s death devastated me, but it also woke me up. At that point, both my parents had died, I had three kids to raise and I had a business to run. I realized I could not do everything alone.
A new mindset, just in time
I got counseling and poured myself into books on business and psychology. My favorites: “Good to Great” by Jim Collins and “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankel. I realized my 70 employees weren’t my servants. I worked for them. They needed to be encouraged to take risks and empowered to do their jobs.
I sought out smart, top-level people for chief operating officer, chief marketing officer and chief technology officer so I could rely on them to develop their own departments. By giving them more leeway, I had more time to think about the future of the company, and we were all free to be more creative and come up with more ideas. I wanted them to seek continual improvement and experiment without fear of failure. I owe my company’s survival to that shift.
Boosting sales through brainstorming
Our company’s sales hit $50 million this year and profit went up 17 percent. But for the past two years, the market for window blinds has been in a tailspin. Dismal new home sales means dismal blinds sales. Two large regional blinds manufacturers recently filed for bankruptcy, numerous retailers closed their doors, and the industry’s sales are again down 25 percent this year. To grow, let alone survive, we knew we had to do something. But I didn’t take it on alone like I might have a decade ago. It had to be all of us innovating and trying new ideas.
Some of the risks we took were complete flops. One crazy idea that failed miserably was advertising on dry cleaning hangers. We tested three different messages, and each was worse than the other. We tried revamping the category pages on our website, spent a lot of time asking customers what they wanted, did internal focus groups, and went live showing the new page to half of our visitors, and the existing page to the other half. We saw zero change in sales.
Solving customer problems pays off
One of easiest ways to rev up innovation was simply thinking about our customer’s problems. What might prevent someone from buying blinds online? We figured out that customers get overwhelmed by the thought of measuring and installing blinds themselves, so we made about 65 two-minute videos that explicitly show how to measure and install blinds. My daughter, Esther, our PR manager, regularly searches Twitter for tweets about installing blinds. She responds with links to our videos. So far, the web pages on our site with videos bring in about 15 percent more revenue than the ones that do not.
We also spent $150,000 and six months building a widget that helps buyers who don’t know what they want. They answer questions such as if they have kids or pets and what’s more important to them, price or blocking out light. That tool gave us another 15 percent lift to our sales.
Finding partners for profit
Letting my chief marketing officer, Daniel Cotlar, and his team run with ideas has been huge. By doing cross promotions with Flowers.com, Cooking.com and OmahaSteaks.com, they helped boost our gross margins per customer visit by 25 percent over the past two years. Someone who buys a certain amount of blinds get discounts from other companies, and vice versa. This turned out to be a really low-cost way of marketing.
My senior leadership team also drove the boat on an idea to partner with big-box retailers — an idea that for years was pretty scary. We worried that if we partnered with big-box stores, offering them technology so their online customers could buy blinds, we would create big new competitors. But whether we helped big-box stores or not, they would eventually get into the blinds business, and the bad economy was a good time to do it. We wound up striking deals with Office Depot, Linens & Things, Window World, Rugs Direct, and Overstock.com. We do all the selling, fulfillment, customer service, technology — everything. It’s been a pretty good deal for us: It’s looking like it might increase sales by 10 percent this year.
Testing, testing, testing
I could not have done this alone. Free-flowing ideas are key. Risk taking is key. It’s all about testing and retesting ideas in small ways and then continually improving them. We set 90-day goals and check in with each other every 30 days. Today, we get more done in 90 days than we did in all of last year. It’s a complete culture shift – one of clear and focused execution. I know it because when I come to work every day, our employees are energized. And we still have jobs. In fact, we’re hiring.
Sylvia’s Response:
Thanks Jay for sharing so openly. Your desire to search for meaning is powerful. The fact that it changed the way you do business is a great example of my hypothesis that we can change the world of work as we become more self aware.
In “Don’t Bring It to Work” there is a list of the 13 most common difficult behavior patterns in the workplace as well their complimentary positive opposites.
As I read about you I saw how the “persecutor” aka bully boss can morph into a visionary. Instead of pointing a finger at people that same finger can be pointed upward toward a vision of better ways to work together. That is exactly what you did. Also the super achiever in you turned into a creative collaborator. And the fruits of your personal search are being felt throughout your company.
I would classify you as an “elegant leader” and just want to acknowledge how out of the ashes of your personal tragedy there is a whole company that has benefitted.
Well done!
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Education, Family-Based Patterns, leadership development, leadership programs
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Thursday, February 25th, 2010
Sometimes there is a frustrating moment when you are not sure what you see, hear, and feel is making sense to anyone but you. It is making you crazy. Are you the only one wondering what is going on in this meeting? Are you are the only one sensing the tension and disconnect?
Maybe, just maybe, it is not what is happening in the room at that exact time. Perhaps, it is a memory trace of a past event in your life, and there you are, in a sense, re-living it.
The scientific term for this is called an engram. Here is an example: You are a toddler and the family is going to the beach for the first time. Everyone is excited about flying from land-locked Oklahoma to Florida.
Your parents talk about swimming in the ocean, the warm blue water and the pretty white waves. You are old enough to know this will be special.
Then you get to the beach and it is pouring rain. You stand with your family on the motel patio and sense the upset and annoyance.
Now, fast-forward: you are a grown-up and you are taking your family to the beach. It is a sunny day and everything is working perfectly; except, you are depressed and sad. Do you feel as though you are crazy? Of course you do!
Blame it on your brain. The old trace memory from long ago has kicked in, and while it is certainly possible to shake off the upset, you wonder why it happened in the first place.
Many times we can go back and connect the dots of old memories; often we can’t. So, if your feelings are not connected to the situation of the moment, know it is an earlier pattern from the past at play.
Remember: 1. You do bring your past with you whether you want to or not.
2. Every thought and situation is recorded in your memory system.
3. Present reactions may be knee-jerk responses to the past.
So, when the guy next to you in a meeting says something that presses your buttons non-stop, ask yourself if this is from what is actually happening in the present, or does he remind you of your older, know-it-all brother who used to drive you crazy?
You can learn more about patterns by going to www.sylvialafair.com and take the pattern aware test to see what drives you to distraction.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Coaching, Communication, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Psychology, Relationships, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Employers, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Psychology, Reflections, Super Achiever, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
hubris: overbearing pride or presumption
The word hubris is a fascinating one. It contains a warning: When you are too sure of yourself, beware of a fall!!! It is a great lesson to learn, both on a personal and a professional level.
Remember Enron; weren’t they called “the smartest guys in the room?” Whatever happened to Atari? How about Fannie Mae? Those who work, or used to work, on Wall Street have had to, or should look up the word hubris.
And Toyota. What do we say about that icon of excellence? A key to looking at what goes wrong with great companies is detailed in a book written by Jim Collins “How the Mighty Fall”. It is an important analysis of what he calls “the arc of tragedy” that can happen to the best of companies when hubris comes calling.
Collins outlines five key points to pay attention to. So, if your company is having a high-time, even in this still wobbly economy, pay attention. At the first stage, where hubris is magnified, there is a sense of invincibility; nothing can change the trajectory of success. The pattern of denial enters front and center and everyone is so busy congratulating each other that there are no checks and balances, no little kid saying that maybe the emperor is naked.
Next is the “more is better” mindset. As anthropologist Gregory Bateson pointed out, “At some point more, including even oxygen, becomes toxic”. This seems to be the curse of our modern society, and perhaps the present economy is helping to create a course correction. Core values become greed and over- expansion.
Then denial becomes pathological. Bad news is ignored and distorted rose-colored glasses are worn by everyone in the company (or the country). This is where the proverbial deck chairs are rearranged, i.e.: reorganized without being able to admit what is not working and make basic changes.
Next phase is common in companies, as well as personal relationships. Maybe an acquisition will make it all better, or for a couple it’s time to have a baby to solve the difficulties. There is a sense of desperation and none of the core issues are targeted. More denial and salve, with no medicinal value.
Finally, the great have fallen, and as we have seen all too often in the past several years, there is the death of a company, a last gasp before patterns of denial and avoidance offer the final blow?
Is it time we look hubris in the face, own our own shadow behaviors, and learn a new way to transform companies, transform ourselves, when we get so far off track? The next few months should be great learning times for all of us.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Business, Communication, Economy, Executive Teams, hubris, Jim Collins, Leadership, Patterns, self-reflection, Toyota, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Economy, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Media, Money, Patterns, Super Achiever, The media, Trust, leadership development | No Comments »
Monday, February 1st, 2010
Leadership and creativity are linked at a core level. Great leaders are also artists in many areas. The following amazing photographs show us how, if we trust each other and find that core creative place, we can make the ordinary extraordinary!
In Japan, rice is essential to life, both for food and as a way of life. Rice planting season has made this very small island culture into one where there is cooperation and collaboration. You can only plant and harvest rice in certain seasons, and it takes the effort of many to make this happen. Once the basics of planting are no longer an issue, look at the creativity that can come with doing the same thing year after year and making it new and unique.
As I looked at these photographs I wondered who came up with the ideas. Then I thought……………who cares? It is a team effort, and the results speak for themselves. Having been to Japan many times, I was always fascinated by the lack of “me, me, me” ego so often seen in the West. Collaboration is at the heart of the hard work that went into these works of art. Enjoy.
Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan, but this is no alien creation. The designs have been cleverly planted.
Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different color rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields.
As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge.
A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants. The colors are created by using different varieties. This photo was taken in Inakadate, Japan.
Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies. This was created by precision planting and months of planning by villagers and farmers located in Inkadate, Japan.
Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives are featured on the television series Tenchijin, appear in fields in the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture of Japan.
This year, various artwork has popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan, including designs of deer dancers. Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan, such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers
The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed Kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed Tsugaru, a Roman variety, to create the colored patterns in the time between planting and harvesting in September.
The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square meters of paddy fields.
From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.
Closer to the image, the careful placement of the thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen.
Rice-paddy art was started there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew from meetings of the village committees. The different varieties of rice plants grow alongside each other to create the masterpieces.
In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year. But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention.
In 2005, agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous rice paddy art.
A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot planting of the four differently colored rice varieties that bring the images
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Collaboration, Diversity, Economy, Family-Based Patterns, Japanese art, Leadership, leadership programs, Natural art, Resilience, Rice, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Collaboration, Communication, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, Super Achiever, Team Building, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
The saga o
f John Edwards is more tragic than it is disgusting. Here is a man who has lied and lied, not just to the world, but most importantly, to himself. And my big question is why we, as a nation, are so gullible? Why did we take so long to see his charade?
Were there aspects of his tendency to cover the truth when he was running for President of the United States? He always posed with such a pretty face and spoke such pretty words. I remember having an annoying feeling in my gut that all was not right with his world and yet, and yet….it takes determination and a capacity for tenacity to even become a contender for the White House crown. He had credentials and had been vetted by his colleagues, deemed worthy of the job.
The day I knew he was down in the dirt of it was when he visited his “past relationship” late at night and on his way out was caught by a reporter and made a dash to run and hide. That made me cringe, thinking about how he would have handled a major international crisis.
Now, I can only hope he finds a way to make peace with all of his relationships: his ill wife, his children with her, his “mistress”, and the love-child they brought into the world.
This type of situation goes deeply into the psyches of the next generation, and the next. In our Total Leadership Connections program, participants are asked to chart their family history – to learn what patterns of the past have influenced their present thinking and behavior. It is an eye opening process that helps leaders become clear about what “baggage” they carry into their important jobs.
Perhaps all captains of industry, all leaders of organizations, all who are in positions of power for the public good need to take the time to do what we have named the “Sankofa Map”. The term Sankofa is from Ghana, from its mythology and means “clear the past to free the present”.
The wisdom of older cultures is that they took into account the behaviors of ancestors. There was a sense that what was done would impact both present and future generations. These concepts might serve us well in this day of instant gratification and power paradigms.
For John Edwards, Elizabeth, et al., I can only hope that there is a period of honesty and truth telling that can begin the long, arduous process of clearing the past to free the present.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Business, Communication, Consulting, Emotions, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, History, John Edwards, Leaders, Leadership, Media, neuropsychology, Neuroscience, pattern aware, Patterns, Sankofa
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Honor, Leaders, Leadership, Marital coaching, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Political distrust, Politics, Power, Psychology, The media, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
Recently Jeff Zucker, President and CEO of General Electric Co’s NBC Universal Entertainment, told PBS interviewer Charlie Rose: “It’s the sign of a leader to step up and say you know when something’s not working, and have the guts to reverse it”.
By the end of the interview, it was questionable whether Zucker, like Conan O’Brien, would be fired. That is the way we work. Take risks, win and get the equivalent of an Oscar. Lose, and get the boot!
Is there a better way? Can there be a middle ground where what is learned when risk- taking fails gets dissected, and gives those in the loop a chance to reform their thoughts and actions in a more positive way?
What is so often the case is that the “loser” is so busy defending what has happened and is feeling the heatwaves of being under constant attack, there is no time to learn from what has been going on.
As a culture, we are so addicted to winning, and accept that as the only way. We lose, yes – lose both sight of the value of the down side of risk taking, as well as the human cost of defending, explaining and justifying behavior.
Jeff Zucker may be in a stagnant time in his career. He may be used up in his CEO role. On the other hand, he may well be in a fertile time of learning from the mess and come up with some real and juicy ideas that will get NBC out of the doldrums. If he is fired, he will lose and so will whoever replaces him. There is always backlash where the pendulum often swings to the opposite side. Thus, conservative, risk adverse individuals often follow the risk takers and progress is paralyzed.
So, NBC, a paraphrase from the song “Give peace a chance”, think about it and “Give Jeff a chance”.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Economy, Education, Emotions, Ethics, Executive Teams, Family-Based Patterns, Leadership, Management, Media, Money, pattern aware, Politics, Power, Stress, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Media, Money, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Super Achiever, Team Building, The media, leadership development | No Comments »
Friday, January 8th, 2010
I saw an article in The Citizen-Times.com, Ashville North Carolina that struck a cord with me. Michael Steele, chairman of the Republican National Committee, in promoting his book, referred to Native Americans as “injuns”.
How many times have racial slurs slipped into a talk and ignored? When do we all stop and say “No more!”? Why is there still a propensity to put down groups of people, to make them seem less than?
In my work with cultural sensitivity and diversity, I teach that it comes from a deep, dark place in individuals and in groups. It is a safety device attempting to ward off the threat of “others”. “If they are not like me, they must be a danger to me.”
This kind of thinking lives in the older parts of the social brain and has caused wars and constant disaffection among people.
“Injun”, is no different than “kike”, “spic”, “dago”, “nigger”, or “gook” - it is intended to target a person or group of people, and make them seem unimportant, insignificant. It is a method of making those who use these terms to feel powerful and in control, and makes those who once felt like victims become victimizers. This is sadly, a common psychological mechanism that needs much more exploration, not just in personal matters, of physical or sexual abuse, but also in cultural abuse.
In her article, B. Lynne Harlan, a member of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians, raises the vital question: “When are we going to hold our leaders to a higher standard”?
This is a key discussion point for all programs: Be they MBA’s, leadership development, executive education, conflict resolution, team building, corporate governance, and the like.
It is time for all of us to look at the crusted, corroded arrogance and dissention that lives in our personal psyches and begin to clean up the inner pollution that causes as much damage as the toxins caused by machines in our external environment.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Economy, Education, Emotions, Ethics, Executive Teams, Family-Based Patterns, Health, History, Leaders, Leadership, Media, neuropsychology, Neuroscience, Patterns, Power, Relationships, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Health, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Media, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, The media, leadership development | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
This is the time of year when we all become sheep and make that list of best practices for the next year. Like psychic predictions, most of them are trashed before the year comes to an end. Why do so many of us waste so much time saying “yes” to things we know will fall by the wayside before too long?
We are so conditioned to starting the New Year fresh and ready for breakthroughs we make our one to ten or one to twenty list and then put an action plan on paper. And then, the burdens and toils of the day take over and somehow, we get into the same old, same old rut.
The reason? Often we take on the whole world. We will become the beautiful, energetic people who will make our fortune this year, just like the ones in all the magazines. Yet, our patterns, those old nagging behaviors from the past creep in and voila! we look back on the year and find we are not so different than we were 365 days ago.
Perhaps we are doing it all wrong. Before we look to the future, maybe we need to look to the past and learn from it. So many philosophers have used a variation of “if we do not look to the past and learn from it, we are bound to repeat it”.
So, instead of resolutions, take a look back to see where you have repeated behavior patterns over and over and look for some revelations about yourself. Then take one aspect of how you respond to others and make that a priority for at least the first six months of the year. One is really enough. Once you start to change just one habit pattern, other behaviors will magically change without effort.
If each of us took the time to change just one thing, it would make a huge difference both in the family and in the workplace. You can learn about your patterns by taking the pattern aware quiz on my website www.sylvialafair.com. Once you have taken the test, call our office for a half-hour free consult by one of our facilitators to help you decide what you want to tackle first.
Sure, there are only a few days left in this year. So what? Everyday is a new day, and you can start to make miraculous changes in the blink of an eye. We are available to help. Let’s make this crazy world a more user-friendly place and learn about ourselves in depth, rather than making mindless resolutions that are usually broken before the month of January is history.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Boss, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Health, leadership programs, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Beating holiday stress, Employee burnout, Health, Holiday, Leaders, Leadership, Management, PatternAware, Patterns, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships, leadership development | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
Leadership is a front-and-center job. It’s hard to hide, and if you have chosen leadership, why would you even want to be in the background? Yet, there are times we all need a break and even then, even when you are on holiday, you know you are still being judged, worshipped, detested, quoted, ridiculed, respected, and second-guessed. It’s the nature of the position.
Take a few minutes and think back to when your career as a leader started. It certainly began long before you accepted your present position. It may have been when you ran for a class office in junior high, or became the captain of a sports team in high school. Think about what you learned at that juncture about playing to the crowd, perhaps, even the local media, and what it means to maintain authenticity.
Now, look at the mantle of leadership and how well it fits you. Do you find it too loose, too tight or just right? Some of us have to let the seams out and become more forceful, own more of the package. Others need to rein in their authority or are seen as that awful woman in “The Devil Wears Prada”. I don’t really know of any present-day leader of a large company, an entrepreneur endeavor, a project manager, a school official, a government agency head, who tells me they have it “just right”.
It seems all women leaders are searching for the balance between public persona and private person. There are so many expectations about who a leader is – who you are; what a leader should say – what you communicate; how a leader looks – how you dress. Think about the demands and how you feel about the burdens of performing and meeting the expectations set upon you.
Where does the word “authentic” fit into your inner dialogue? From all of my coaching clients, I am aware (as well as in my own inner conversations) that there is a continuous struggle between being someone the world wants and what you know is the right fit for you. It is a constant battle – kind of like that extra ten pounds that are always either obvious or hidden in the background ready to disrupt.
There is an excellent article on Oprah.com, written by Mike Robbins, about the need for recognition and the craving for fame, that has some great insights. Now, I am not suggesting that as a women leader your driving force is to be famous. I am saying that being noticed and critiqued comes with the territory. It is a relationship with employees, customers, community, and often, stakeholders.
Our relationship with positional power is directly related to our sense of personal power.
This is a season of reflection, so take some time to look at the patterns of behavior, the relationship world, that has shaped your ability to be authentic, stand firm and not succumb to the demands of colleagues, community, or critics and be true to yourself. Not an easy task to find the way OUT of old behaviors into new, more effective true-to-yourself reactions. Not easy to go from “too this” or “too that” to “just right”.
Take time to Observe, Understand and then Transform behaviors that are blocking the route to authenticity. One gift I would like to give you is the opportunity to take the pattern aware quiz at www.sylvialafair.com and then have some phone time to assess the results.
The best gift we can give ourselves going into the new decade is the gift of deep diving into our own authenticity and how our presence impacts those we lead.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Ethics, Leadership, Management, pattern aware, Patterns, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Tiger Woods’ stories are touching almost every aspect of life in organizations today. Does he owe anything to the golfing community where he is seen as a CEO of sorts? Does he owe anything to his previously adoring public? Of course he owes much to his family, not just wife and children. What about his mother, and mother-in-law who fainted, assumingly from the stress, last week?
One area that could possibly shed some light on the issues of today would be to look at the life Tiger had as a youngster and how that has played out in his adult work-life. This is simply another perspective to consider. Having worked as a family therapist for years, I know first hand that what goes on in someone’s, anyone’s home is multilayered and complex and cannot be analyzed into two simple categories of good Tiger, and bad Tiger.
Maybe this could be a “wake up call” to parents who are uni-focused on the success of their children, perhaps at the cost of their emotional development. The same can be said for many other sports and media stars that were put into little boxes and became objects to be packaged for the world to adore.
Andre Agassi talks about the tennis court as a prison. Judy Garland never recouped from being a child star without the opportunity to be a child. Macaulay Culkin, Lindsay Lohan, and of course, Michael Jackson.
This is not about pointing fingers of blame; it is about redirecting our priorities. How many parents suggest that their youngsters, especially those with a wee bit of talent, focus on that strength at the expense of becoming a whole person?
All leadership development programs need to address this insanity of what success really means. Think about it – with all his homes, yacht, fame and money, what does Tiger have in terms of contentment and joy? Was he running after sex or something deeper and more illusive that is still haunting him from his childhood? Let me know what you think.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Fear, Health, History, Leaders, leadership programs, Media, Money, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Ethics, Fear, Health, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Media, Money, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Uncategorized, leadership development | No Comments »
by Jay Steinfeld, as told to Jennifer Alsever