Archive for the ‘Holiday’ Category

Leadership and Love Insurance

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Why not make Valentine’s Day into a week celebration; or a month, or a whole year? Be a leader and help position it as a daily delight, day after day.

Now, let’s talk about a rare gift that can become a Valentine phenomenon; one without an expiration date like flowers, chocolates, or dinner at a candle lit restaurant. What I’m talking about you can give and keep giving for years.  It is…. drum roll please….. an insurance policy!

Yee gads, you say; nothing romantic about an insurance policy. In fact that can be somewhat depressing. They are there for accidents, floods, earthquakes, and death. Go away, I hear you mumble.

Just listen for a minute…..  I’m talking about something so radical, so revolutionary in the insurance field it can only be called “love insurance” and it takes a certain type of person, a true visionary leader, to understand the power of what I am saying. If you have vision and grit, then keep reading……give the gift of pattern busting!

Huh, you say! Not very romantic! And maybe you are thinking, how does whatever the heck pattern busting is, relate to insurance? Here’s the net-net. You know it is important to eat right and exercise to keep fit. You know you need to be seen for a regular check up by your dentist and physician. Those are preventive measures for health and longevity.

So, why not also consider your emotional well being, your emotional intelligence; important at home as well as for your career. You see, when you are healthy both physically and emotionally those around you benefit. Beginning to see the “love insurance” tie in?

What we have learned from a decade of facilitating the blockbuster program “Total Leadership Connections” is that it includes a built in insurance policy. Our insurance policy has an action component; it is called the OUT TECHNIQUE.

Here’s how it works: once you learn to observe your behavior patterns, the ones that always get annoyed stares from your family or your co-workers; you can learn to stop that dreaded behavior. Life becomes easier. Then, when you understand where these patterns began and what to do about it, you have even deeper and longer lasting change. And for the home run, when you transform these patterns to the positive side…. that’s where the “love insurance” kicks in. 

That’s when you, your family and those you work with see the changes, hear you differently and respond to you in new and happier ways. So, take a free quiz, and find out what patterns are keeping you from being in the best shape possible. And you can call us for a free consultation on effective ways to bust through the old behaviors; the ones that get in the way of optimum living. Take a step in the direction of getting everyone the best insurance policy on the planet.  Go to www.sylvialafair.com  or call us at 570 636 3858. Let’s make Valentines Day more than a time of wine and roses and chocolate.

Leadership Strategies: Confidence to Do It Yourself

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

Boy, can the little ones teach us to pay attention to how we respond to life! And, they can be a great monitor for us, even better than the most experienced adult. Here is a fun, and also deeply important incident that happened over the weekend.

 
My husband Herb and I have been visiting with our daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. Our rather precocious four-year-old granddaughter (she really is, it’s not just a grandma thing!) and I were home alone putting a puzzle together. We got all the pieces out, and the instructions initially seemed so simple it was a slam dunk that it should take, oh, maybe ten minutes.

 
Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I did well in school and even earned a PhD. So, I guess I can be considered somewhat smart. Anyway, forty-five minutes later, the darn thing was still dispersed all over the carpet.

 
Frustrated, I turned to Arielle and said meekly “Well, I guess we just have to wait for Grandpop to come home”.  She reached over to pat my arm and said, “Hey Grandmom, we can do it, I just know we can do it. We don’t have to wait for anyone else.”

 
I wasn’t so sure, yet her enthusiasm leaked over to my side of the puzzle and we began again. She handed me each piece the way a competent nurse must deal with a surgical resident doing a first appendectomy.

 
We finished, just in time for her parents and Herb to walk in the door. Arielle proudly showed them the work we had completed. I was grateful no one asked how long it took and I was also grateful that the smart four-year-old can’t yet tell time!

 
What did I learn? That the children who are being taught to think for themselves from the get-go, the ones getting recognized for a “job well done” when they master a new skill, the ones who are being trained to have patience and look for options to solve the little puzzles of life have the confidence to stay with it, even when they are not sure of the outcome.

 
Honestly, I’m not so sure I was taught that as a child. I thought about it later and realized that as a young girl, I often waited for my older brother to help me out when I got stuck. The world has changed, and with it so has the role of females.

 
My granddaughter showed me the new way for both little girls, and boys: stick with it and learn to solve it yourself and have the confidence to believe you can do it. That sure does give me some faith in the future. If enough of our children and grandchildren grow up willing to stay with it, to solve life’s problems, maybe there really is hope for this complex and bruised world.

Leadership Strategies: Revelations or Resolutions?

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

This is the time of year when we all become sheep and make that list of best practices for the next year. Like psychic predictions, most of them are trashed before the year comes to an end. Why do so many of us waste so much time saying “yes” to things we know will fall by the wayside before too long?

 
We are so conditioned to starting the New Year fresh and ready for breakthroughs we make our one to ten or one to twenty list and then put an action plan on paper. And then, the burdens and toils of the day take over and somehow, we get into the same old, same old rut.

 
The reason? Often we take on the whole world. We will become the beautiful, energetic people who will make our fortune this year, just like the ones in all the magazines. Yet, our patterns, those old nagging behaviors from the past creep in and voila! we look back on the year and find we are not so different than we were 365 days ago.

 
Perhaps we are doing it all wrong. Before we look to the future, maybe we need to look to the past and learn from it. So many philosophers have used a variation of “if we do not look to the past and learn from it, we are bound to repeat it”.

 

 
So, instead of resolutions, take a look back to see where you have repeated behavior patterns over and over and look for some revelations about yourself. Then take one aspect of how you respond to others and make that a priority for at least the first six months of the year. One is really enough. Once you start to change just one habit pattern, other behaviors will magically change without effort.

 
If each of us took the time to change just one thing, it would make a huge difference both in the family and in the workplace. You can learn about your patterns by taking the pattern aware quiz on my website www.sylvialafair.com. Once you have taken the test, call our office for a half-hour free consult by one of our facilitators to help you decide what you want to tackle first.

 
Sure, there are only a few days left in this year. So what? Everyday is a new day, and you can start to make miraculous changes in the blink of an eye. We are available to help. Let’s make this crazy world a more user-friendly place and learn about ourselves in depth, rather than making mindless resolutions that are usually broken before the month of January is history.

Holiday Stress and Leadership Involvement

Monday, December 7th, 2009

This week is the beginning of the fast track to the holidays. Everyone, no matter what their religious persuasion, is impacted by the bustle, the songs, the red and green decorations, the deep desire for holiday cheer and the disappointment if the dreams and hopes don’t measure up to the realities.

What to do? First, it is important to breathe! Yes, this is simple, inexpensive, and possible at any moment of the day. Deep breathing is better than cookies, wine, and even a new shiny car.  Here is what to do: find a quiet place; even if you go into the bathroom and lock the door for five minutes. Keep your feet on the floor and hands on your lap. Then close your eyes. Take a long deep breath through your mouth and then exhale quickly and forcefully through your mouth. Do this at least 7 times and then sit for a moment to let the oxygen stream through your body.

If at work you see your employees and co-workers getting jittery and moody, take a few minutes and stop by their desk and without going into detail, let them know you are there to support them. Offer the breathing process by telling them it helps you when you feel like the kettle beginning to boil. Just stopping by, acknowledging that this is the toughest time of year, even in a good year, tensions increase, and giving them something simple to help them calm down will definitely make a difference.

No amount of “stuff” will help as much as a hand extended to say “you are not alone” and the corollary “we are all in it together”. Let’s see this difficult economic year end with leaders helping to defuse the stress and tension by being there for staff in a way that transcends even bonus money. Caring on an emotional level will bring dividends into the New Year as we all imagine a healthier economy and a kinder world.

No Labor on Labor Day

Friday, September 4th, 2009

Samuel Gompers

It’s the last long week-end of summer. It’s time for hanging out in the hammock, swimming, fishing, finishing a novel; anything outdoors, anything fun and easy.

Yet, Labor Day came out of the sweat and toil of workers in the past who were addressing issues of fairness and equality. So, just for a moment it would be great to look back and think about those who helped build the foundation of today.

The observance of this first Monday in September began as a testimonial to America’s labor unions. In 1898 Samuel Gompers, head of the American Federation of Labor called it “the day for which toilers in past centuries looked forward, when their rights and wrongs would be discussed.”

Wonder what those who helped build the roads and railroads, went down into the mines for the coal, cut the trees with saws in hand, would think about the world of today.

Perhaps between barbecues and baseball you could take a few minutes and think back to your relatives, teachers, and mentors.  Remember, you stand on their shoulders. Think about those who have made a difference in the hard work they do. Think about it and then thank someone who has taught you about hard work, about team collaboration, about leadership.

Celebrate the day by remembering. And if you know someone who has made an especially important impact on your work life, send them an email or call. Let them know you appreciate them and tell them “Glad you can take this day off, you’ve earned it”!

Dare to Vacate

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

vacation_time_see_you_sept_2These few weeks before Labor Day are the ones that scream out “STOP”. This is the end point before the next beginning. This is the last of those lazy days before the autumn surge. School soon moves into high gear. Work takes on a more intense flavor, executive leadership programs, business seminars, conferences are all fighting for our attention.

Have you taken a vacation this summer? Have you taken the time to sit and stare…at the ocean or pine trees or slot machines? Whatever makes you stop thinking for even a brief time is what really matters. The root of the word vacation is to vacate, make empty.

We all need time to stop the mind from moving into fast forward. The most common way is to do something, anything that is not the norm, not the pattern. We all need to create a pattern interrupt scenario for ourselves. That is how we can think new thoughts and gather new ideas.

So, be it for a few hours, a day, or a week, take the time to empty your mind. Take time to smell the roses, or the salt air from the ocean. Take time to listen to real birds twittering. Take time to inhale and push out a strong, robust exhale. Most of us really do wait to exhale. So pick your own personal favorite way to empty your mind and then just do it!

Remembering on Memorial Day

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

When Danny stood at the grave site of his brother he was angry and still in shock. Neil had been a victim of a stray bullet. No he was not in uniform fighting for his country. He was a teen walking down the street in Chicago three months ago.

 

Alexa’s father cannot forgive. His daughter was killed by a drunk driver last year. The ugly crash that took his seven year old child’s life happened over Memorial weekend.

 

John and Jenny stand together in prayer at church. Her father will not meet his grandson soon to be born. The economic downturn was too much and a suicide note told the story of fear and depression.

 

Yes, Memorial Day is to remember those who have been our protectors during times of war. Yes, it is so important for us to remember, remember and honor.

 

It can also be a day for all of us to take a collective moment and honor all the dead that bring gentle tears and deep sighs to each of us. It is a day when we can permit ourselves to touch the emotions so often buried deep inside. Releasing our hidden emotions of grief, anger, and sadness can help us begin to open a place for a more creative expression of our pain.

 

So let us honor those who have fallen in battle. They deserve our respect. And, we can also remember all others near and dear who are no longer walking with us. One way to make this day special is to do one simple act of kindness. Tell someone you care. Write a poem and post it on the internet. Bring a friend a single rose. Smile and tell a stranger to have a good day. Plant a tree.

 

Maybe the best way forward is to remember with kindness. Maybe if enough of us “kill with kindness” we can begin the long, winding road to a more compassionate society, one where wars will no longer have a place. A potent thought to imagine.