Archive for the ‘Economy’ Category

Do Exec’s Make Lousy Spouses

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

Sometimes I think we are looking at little tidbits of information hoping that will give us easy answers. Partly we all have been trained to sort and judge, sort and judge, sort and judge. It is initially more complex to look at the whole enchilada, the whole system for answers.

The blog about “Do Successful Executives Make Lousy Spouses” is a case in point. My first inclination was to really drill down into what constitutes success. I know it is more than money, more than the title, more than dividing up the housework. My second thought was if there is executive success there should be outside help for the housework.

I’d love your comments on how you handle the dividing thing at home and how it is working so we can all learn new ways of cooperating.

Finding fairness ain’t easy no matter how “successful” we are!

 

BNET Article by Steve Tobak:

A guy works his tail off climbing the corporate ladder. He sacrifices everything else to achieve success for himself and his family. In the meantime, his wife stays home with the kids and the housework. Ultimately, she divorces him. Why? Because, she sacrificed too, and got a lousy husband for her trouble.  

Think that’s an old story out of the 50s or an exaggeration? It’s not. It’s all too common, especially when it comes to CEOs, executives, and business leaders. There’s quite a bit of data, not to mention anecdotal information, to support the idea that lopsided marriages just don’t work.

And that means workaholic and travelaholic executives who “do it all for the family” may one day come home to an empty house. In Getting to 50/50, former Goldman Sachs managing director Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober, who runs a private equity fund, draw some fascinating conclusions: 

  • The divorce rate is lower when couples share housework
  • The divorce rate drops sharply when the woman works too
  • The risk of divorce is lowest when the man earns 60% of the income and does 40% of housework
  • Among couples over 40, two thirds of the divorces are initiated by the women

The wealth of research seems to indicate that, regardless of how hard men work, how successful they are, and how much money they bring home, most women seem to have a real problem when their husbands are slackers at home and aren’t around to help raise the kids. And they often feel resentful for having to sacrifice their own careers.

And I can substantiates that data with my own personal experience. For a long time, I was one of the those workaholic executives who travelled and worked most of the time. I felt entitled to forgo the housework, not to mention being selfish about my spare time and insensitive to the sacrifices my wife made. Not that she ever complained, but let’s just say things are very different now.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of guys screw up their marriages by assuming that anything goes as long as they bring home the bacon. But when it comes to clueless executive husbands, this guy I used to work for, the president of a public company, definitely takes the cake. We’ll call him John Smith. One day Mrs. Smith called John’s office at around 6 pm:

“John Smith’s office, Cathy speaking.”

“Hi Cathy, it’s Mrs. Smith. Listen, John was supposed to be home half an hour ago to play tennis with his son. Has he left yet or is he running late, as usual?”    

“Well,” Cathy hesitated, “I’m sorry, but John isn’t here.”

“Well, where is he?”

“Um …,” long pause, “John got on a plane to China hours ago.”

Now, I suppose that every relationship is unique, but the data doesn’t lie and neither does my experience. Bottom line, if I had the chance to do it over again, I’d do these three things differently:

  1. Sacrifice a little work time and at least make an effort to do some housework every week.
  2. Encourage and support my wife’s career, even if it means slowing my own climb up the corporate ladder, regardless of the disparity in pay.
  3. Google “narcissist.”

How about you? Is your work-family life out of balance? And do you think anything changes if you reverse the genders?

 

Sylvia Lafair’s Comment:

I just wish it all boiled down to splitting the housework, or making sure the temperature in the house is not too cold or too hot, or sharing the remote for the TV.

It’s just not that easy. The forces for workaholism, super achieving, martyrdom, and victimhood live way deep down in invisible behaviors (also called unconscious) that make us need to over prove ourselves, overgive to others, or take blame for everything that goes wrong.

I believe that the best leaders and parents are those who take the time to observe, understand and then transform behavior that limit healthy relationships with oneself and with others.

Then doing the housework is merely a little bleep in the day.

Fed’s Bernanke: Money ‘By Itself’ Doesn’t Buy Happiness

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

I found this very good article on Ecreditdaily.com on Bernanke’s commencement address at the University of South Carolina.  Please read and note my comments; I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Fed Chairman Ben BernankeIt was not your typical speech by the Federal Reserve chairman; then again, this was a commencement address at the University of South Carolina in Columbia, about a two-hour drive from Dillon, where Ben Bernanke spent much of his childhood.

The Fed chief’s address focused on happiness, and reaffirmed some age-old parental advice: money isn’t everything.

Bernanke didn’t entirely abandon economics, however, as he referenced studies measuring contentment and income.

“Although today most Americans surveyed will tell you they are happy with their lives, the fraction of those who say that they are happy is not any higher than it was 40 years ago, when average incomes in the United States were considerably lower and few could even imagine developments like mobile phones or the Internet,” Bernanke said, referring to a study years ago by economist Richard Easterlin.

The economist, Bernanke told graduates, found that once you “get above a basic sustenance level–on average, people in rich countries don’t report being all that much happier than people in lower-income countries.”

For example, he said, Americans have reported similar levels of happiness as do Costa Ricans, who have about one-quarter the per capita income.

Other studies have contradicted that notion and contend that richer countries heighten happiness through higher levels of technology, infrastructure and healthcare.

So Bernanke took a stand somewhere in the middle ground.

“So I am going to continue under the assumption that, although wealth and income do contribute to happiness and life satisfaction, other factors must also be very important,” he said. “Or, as your parents always said, money doesn’t buy happiness. Well, an economist might reply, at least not by itself.”

He also said that happiness is often measured by the degree of human interaction, more so than the amount of material wealth. And that both psychologists and economists agree.

“Happy people tend to spend time with friends and family and put emphasis on social and community relationships,” Bernanke said. “We are social creatures. Research has demonstrated that happiness and life satisfaction are perhaps more closely related to participating meaningfully in a network of friends, family, and community than any other factor.”

My response:

Bernanke gave an important speech. As an economist, not a psychologist (which is my field) or a motivational guru, he stated what we know and tend to ignore. Money by itself truly has questionable value. It does seem high time that those in the financial realm begin to speak out. King Midas found out too late the limited benefits of having it all. Remember the children’s story? He was granted the wish to be the richest man in the world and everything he touched turned to gold, including his daughter who just wanted a hug.

Time we stop showing celebrities with hundreds of shoes and start to talk values with those getting ready to enter the work force before they become addicted to the false premise that more is better. At some point more, even oxygen, becomes toxic.

Leadership Conflict Turns Destructive

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

 

I found this very good blog about the Toyota fiasco.  Please read and note my comments; I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Article by Steve Tobak, The Corner Office

Survival of the fittest requires conflict; that’s as true in the boardroom as it is in the wild. In that sense, conflict isn’t just a good thing, it’s a key ingredient in all great organizations. It’s the manner in which businesses test new ideas and up-coming leadership talent.

 

But there comes a point when otherwise healthy conflict turns toxic, even destructive. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and when it does, it can plunge a successful company into a tailspin from which it might never recover. Case in point: the leadership crisis festering inside Toyota.

 Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal chronicled the long-standing feud between the founding Toyoda family and Toyota’s non-family leadership faction. For generations, the pendulum of Toyota’s corporate leadership has swung from one to the other. And that’s worked pretty well … until now.

Now, the warring factions have taken their long-standing feud to previously unseen heights of public, personal attacks on each other. The family faction is led by Akio Toyoda, current CEO and 53-year old grandson of the company founder. From the WSJ:

     Mr. Toyoda and his allies have been saying openly that when he took the top job last year after a 15-year hiatus for the Toyoda clan, he inherited a company weakened by non-family predecessors who sacrificed quality for faster growth and fatter margins.

The problems arose when “some people just got too big-headed and focused too excessively on profit,” Mr. Toyoda said at a Beijing news conference in March. Mr. Toyoda’s opponents – former company presidents Katsuaki Watanabe and Hiroshi Okuda – have an entirely different view (also from the WSJ):

     They say Toyota’s current troubles are less a quality crisis and more a management and public-relations crisis of Mr. Toyoda’s making, reflecting their longstanding warnings that he wasn’t ready to run a global corporation.

      “Is Akio ducking criticism of being a beneficiary of nepotism by accusing us and trying to justify his ascendancy to the top job?” one of Mr. Watanabe’s top aides said. Hiroshi Okuda … has told at least two associates since the recalls of cars involved in sudden acceleration incidents earlier this year: “Akio needs to go.”

      Asked [in 2000] about future prospects for Mr. Toyoda, then a 43-year-old general manager, Mr. Okuda said: “Nepotism just doesn’t belong in our future.” He elaborated: “Akio-class talents are rolling around all over Toyota, like so many potatoes.”

In my opinion, both parties are actually at fault for the company’s current crisis. As I said a couple of months ago in At the Heart of What’s Ailing Toyota:

Like so many big companies before, in its relentless drive to become the world’s largest auto maker, Toyota’s management took its eye off the ball. In other words, growth became its priority, while the unique aspects of its culture and operational competencies responsible for its success to this point, became secondary.

After many years of stellar leadership, last year Akio Toyoda, the grandson of the company’s founder, became CEO. And while Toyota’s issues have gestated for some time before Toyoda took the reins, his spectacular mishandling of the crisis demonstrates that he wasn’t ready for the job.

Nevertheless, instead of working together to resolve critical issues facing the company, Toyota’s leadership has devolved to juvenile finger-pointing. And, if this once-great company’s leadership doesn’t get its act together, well, as I said before, “not only will its recovery be long and painful, but it may not recover at all. It happens.”

My response below:

The Toyota mess is so familiar to anyone who has spent time working with family businesses. I grew up in one and remember the tension between my father and his two brothers and then the tugging, pulling, and positioning when outsiders joined the ranks.I became a family therapist and then morphed into an executive coach with a passion for working with family firms.

I know that finger pointing is common in all companies and is compounded when the family name is being tarnished. Here is what I do know: when stress hits the hot button there is a natural tendency to revert to patterns of behavior learned in the original organization, the family, that were there for survival and security.

There is a need to create safety by blaming and judging others as a protection mechanism. I only hope that the Toyoda clan can gain some understanding of the how and the why they did not intervene to keep the brand and their name in a positive light.

Elegant Leadership and Healthy Survival

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Learning how to live in the Safe Stress Zone™ is important for every decision you make.  Once you can stay at a place of observing before you act, your chances of getting out of a tough time with a positive outcome is greatly enhanced.

titanic_3Brain science indicates that our decisions are made based on emotions not logic. It is so fascinating that so many people can ignore evidence that is right in front of them that does not compute with their emotional decisions. Think “Titanic” and you get the picture.

Here is how it works. Experiences that occurred as children are attached to emotions and leave a strong imprint in the brain. Years later when a variation of the experience occurs it brings up the past memories and it is the emotional memory that will have the first chance of affecting a present decision.

An example that recently happened with one of my coaching clients went like this:  his father was swindled by a partner when this man was a child of about four. The family lost their home and the father ended up committing suicide a year later.

Vowing never to be in a difficult financial position this man spent his life accumulating a fortune. This past year his business has, like many, been caught in the down economy; however, he still has many millions of dollars. What is fascinating is his fear of being left with nothing and the depression that is a daily occurrence.

It became so bad he would not even buy strawberries because they were not on sale. He insisted the heat be turned down to an uncomfortable 60 degrees and his children were required to make peanut and jelly sandwiched to take for lunch.

That is until he began the long journey to practice safe stress and uncover the deep fear that he would end up like his father. This is not in his “imagination”, it is in his brain!

Finally, he is touching back into the old buried fears and anxieties that have kept him and his family captive. He has used the OUT Technique to OBSEVE, UNDERSTAND and TRANSFORM the past.

We now know that as new ideas and concepts are embraced the brain changes physically, it has a quality of plasticity so we do not have to be trapped by the past, we just have to help get our brain into the safe stress zone for healthy survival.

Teachables from Toyota

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

                                

hubris: overbearing pride or presumption

The word hubris is a fascinating one. It contains a warning: When you are too sure of yourself, beware of a fall!!! It is a great lesson to learn, both on a personal and a professional level.

Remember Enron; weren’t they called “the smartest guys in the room?” Whatever happened to Atari? How about Fannie Mae? Those who work, or used to work, on Wall Street have had to, or should look up the word hubris.

And Toyota. What do we say about that icon of excellence? A key to looking at what goes wrong with great companies is detailed in a book written by Jim Collins “How the Mighty Fall”. It is an important analysis of what he calls “the arc of tragedy” that can happen to the best of companies when hubris comes calling.

Collins outlines five key points to pay attention to. So, if your company is having a high-time, even in this still wobbly economy, pay attention. At the first stage, where hubris is magnified, there is a sense of invincibility; nothing can change the trajectory of success. The pattern of denial enters front and center and everyone is so busy congratulating each other that there are no checks and balances, no little kid saying that maybe the emperor is naked.

Next is the “more is better” mindset. As anthropologist Gregory Bateson pointed out, “At some point more, including even oxygen, becomes toxic”. This seems to be the curse of our modern society, and perhaps the present economy is helping to create a course correction. Core values become greed and over- expansion.

Then denial becomes pathological. Bad news is ignored and distorted rose-colored glasses are worn by everyone in the company (or the country). This is where the proverbial deck chairs are rearranged, i.e.: reorganized without being able to admit what is not working and make basic changes.

Next phase is common in companies, as well as personal relationships. Maybe an acquisition will make it all better, or for a couple it’s time to have a baby to solve the difficulties. There is a sense of desperation and none of the core issues are targeted. More denial and salve, with no medicinal value.

Finally, the great have fallen, and as we have seen all too often in the past several years, there is the death of a company, a last gasp before patterns of denial and avoidance offer the final blow?

Is it time we look hubris in the face, own our own shadow behaviors, and learn a new way to transform companies, transform ourselves, when we get so far off track? The next few months should be great learning times for all of us.

Leadership and Creativity

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Leadership and creativity are linked at a core level. Great leaders are also artists in many areas. The following amazing photographs show us how, if we trust each other and find that core creative place, we can make the ordinary extraordinary!
 
In Japan, rice is essential to life, both for food and as a way of life. Rice planting season has made this very small island culture into one where there is cooperation and collaboration. You can only plant and harvest rice in certain seasons, and it takes the effort of many to make this happen. Once the basics of planting are no longer an issue, look at the creativity that can come with doing the same thing year after year and making it new and unique.
 
As I looked at these photographs I wondered who came up with the ideas. Then I thought……………who cares? It is a team effort, and the results speak for themselves. Having been to Japan many times, I was always fascinated by the lack of “me, me, me” ego so often seen in the West. Collaboration is at the heart of the hard work that went into these works of art. Enjoy.

 

Japanese rice fields

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Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan, but this is no alien creation.  The designs have been cleverly planted.

Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different color rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields. 

As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge. 

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A Sengoku  warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds  of thousands of rice plants.  The colors are created by using different varieties.  This photo was taken  in Inakadate, Japan. 
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Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies. This was created by precision planting and months of planning by  villagers and farmers located in Inkadate, Japan. 
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Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives are  featured on the television series Tenchijin, appear in  fields in the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture of  Japan. 
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This year, various artwork has popped up in other  rice-farming   areas of  Japan, including designs of deer dancers. Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan, such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers 

The  farmers create the murals  by planting little purple and yellow-leafed Kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed  Tsugaru, a Roman variety, to create the colored patterns in the  time between planting and harvesting in September.

The murals  in Inakadate cover 15,000 square meters of paddy fields. 
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From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.rice fields 12

Closer to the image, the careful placement of the thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen. 
 
Rice-paddy art was started  there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew from meetings of the village committees.  The different varieties of rice plants grow alongside each other to create  the masterpieces.

In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount  Iwaki every year. But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention. 
 
In  2005, agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous  rice paddy art.

A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot planting of the four differently colored rice varieties  that bring the images

Elegant Leadership and Risk Taking

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

Recently Jeff Zucker, President and CEO of General Electric Co’s NBC Universal Entertainment, told PBS interviewer Charlie Rose: “It’s the sign of a leader to step up and say you know when something’s not working, and have the guts to reverse it”.

By the end of the interview, it was questionable whether Zucker, like Conan O’Brien, would be fired. That is the way we work. Take risks, win and get the equivalent of an Oscar. Lose, and get the boot!

Is there a better way? Can there be a middle ground where what is learned when risk- taking fails gets dissected, and gives those in the loop a chance to reform their thoughts and actions in a more positive way?

What is so often the case is that the “loser” is so busy defending what has happened and is feeling the heatwaves of being under constant attack, there is no time to learn from what has been going on.

As a culture, we are so addicted to winning, and accept that as the only way. We lose, yes – lose both sight of the value of the down side of risk taking, as well as the human cost of defending, explaining and justifying behavior.

Jeff Zucker may be in a stagnant time in his career. He may be used up in his CEO role. On the other hand, he may well be in a fertile time of learning from the mess and come up with some real and juicy ideas that will get NBC out of the doldrums. If he is fired, he will lose and so will whoever replaces him. There is always backlash where the pendulum often swings to the opposite side. Thus, conservative, risk adverse individuals often follow the risk takers and progress is paralyzed.

So, NBC, a paraphrase from the song “Give peace a chance”, think about it and “Give Jeff a chance”.

Elegant Leadership: Leadership and Money

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Hope your holidays brought you gobs of joy and heaps of happiness. Did you also get the “stuff” you had hoped for? I have been asking lots of folks the question about how this holiday season differed from past ones where there seemed to be an endless pitcher pouring out the material things money can buy.

Most of the people I talked with, in airport lounges, in restaurants, at parties, were receptive to answering a few pointed questions. While not a scientifically researched survey, there were some patters of responses that were telling.

A majority of my random samples said they had a quieter holiday time between Christmas and New Year’s Day, than in the past. They gave as much, only less frivolous things, and they almost all said that what they received was appreciated more than usual because they knew it was not so easy to find the cash to buy things.

Perhaps the up side of this recession is deeper appreciation. If so, then it has served a good purpose. Many told me they had their youngsters make cards and bake cookies as a way of giving without it breaking the bank.

 This all reminded me of the Shania Twain song “Ka-Ching” that has been a representation of our love affair with money that perhaps has lost its luster. Think about the words as you make decisions for this New Year, which should be open to infinite possibilities besides grappling for more and more money.

We live in a greedy little world–
that teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly–
then turn around and
Spend it foolishly
We’ve created us a credit card mess
We spend the money that we don’t possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all
So it’s shoppin’ every Sunday at the mall

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
It’s such a beautiful thing–Ka-ching!
Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings
You’ll live like a king
With lots of money and things

When you’re broke go and get a loan
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when
you get bored

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Let’s swing
Dig deeper in your pocket
Oh, yeah, ha
Come on I know you’ve got it
Dig deeper in your wallet
Oh

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
You’ll live like a king
With lots of money and things
Ka-ching!

Let’s make this year one of substance and caring, rather than merely one of more bling and kachink!

Humans and Universals

Monday, December 14th, 2009

In today’s Managing Leadership blog, there are some fascinating thoughts about how everything is connected; who we are, what we do and which elements – physical or psychic – drive our behavior.

These are important concepts that too often are left in the dirt of the road as executive leadership programs zero in on strategies and financials. Once we begin to ask the questions of what connects us, regardless of the type of business we run, the place in the world we live, the secondary customs and traditions we follow, then we can make great progress in looking at the baseline of what work means and why we work.

What we do know is that work is one if the most socially acceptable and constructive ways for people to spend the major portion of the day. Is it merely to pay the mortgage or find ways to fund weekend pleasures?

From observation of employee behavior, along with psychological and sociological research, one human universal becomes clear. Humans do not thrive on mindless and consistent pleasure, which gets boring. What humans thrive on is challenge.

Think about the most successful reality shows. They are about winning the amazing race, creating great recipes, losing tons of weight. In every program, we cheer for those who can overcome obstacles and learn to live a more rewarding life.

It is the same at work. When you hear co-workers engaged and enthused with their day-at-the-office, it is because they have met a challenge, found a creative solution, learned something new about themselves.

All leadership development programs need to include a module on defining and discussing human universals. Since there is ample evidence that individuals, regardless of business title and position, all seek meaningful activities and relationships, then let’s spend time making activities and relationships at work match our basic human needs and desires.

Connecting the Dots of Leadership

Monday, December 14th, 2009

This end of the first decade of Century 21 is a time of searching more deeply for leadership skills that go beyond simple cookbook “become a great leader in one minute” solutions.

General Electric Chairman and CEO, Jeff Immelt, offered some great suggestions in his speech at the West Point Distinguished Leader Series. What struck me was his comment that we “must become systems thinkers who are comfortable with ambiguity”. You can read the entire speech at the GE web site.

I find it refreshing that someone in Immelt’s position is underlining the ideas that systems’ thinking is critical at this juncture of history. I believe it is a vital aspect of understanding the essence of leadership and problem solving.

However, we spend little time learning to think in a systemic way. In my book, “Don’t Bring It to Work”, there is a plea to move to systems’ thinking that I know would make a difference in how we relate to each other, to work challenges, and to the environment. So here is an excerpt from the book that I hope will stimulate thought about leadership, relationship, and connecting the dots of life.

              A system is a collection of parts integrated to accomplish an overall process. The key word here is “integrated”: systems are interactive; everything depends on everything else. For example, the way doctors and nurses behave in a hospital emergency room is a system. If the experienced head nurse calls in sick, all of a sudden there is a shift in how everyone works together, there is a systemic change. Add a patient who causes an uproar and again there will be a change in how everyone works together and how the patients are treated.

              Systems are found among work groups, families and even in our own biology. Chinese medicine is based on how all areas of the body work together and a cough, itching and poor sleep habits may well be part of the same illness. Even large networks of friends on web sites such as Facebook constitute a system.

              If systems are at the core of how we live, then how come books about workplace issues seldom talk about them? The answer is that business is still largely shaped by analytic thinking, an intellectual orientation marked by a tendency to understand living things not by looking at the organic wholes that they are, but by separating them into their component parts. Most business leaders aren’t trained to think systemically, but rather in dichotomies; when problems occur, we sort and judge, sort and judge.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. After centuries of slumber, the older systems-oriented mode of thinking may well be making a comeback. It is what leadership education programs need now more than ever to help us solve the complex, ambiguous issues of this era. Thanks to Jeff Immelt, perhaps we can begin more rigorous dialogues about how we are all connected and the fact that no one wins unless we all do.