Archive for the ‘Diversity’ Category
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010
There has been a fascinating discussion going on for several weeks on the Leadership Think Tank Group on LinkedIn. The question is “If you could teach one thing to a young leader what would it be?”
There have been over 250 responses and the vast array of answers creates a composite of the myriad aspects of leadership development. It does seem that the largest number of answers believe that leadership is an art and craft that can be learned.
One particular answer by Tom Tavares caught my attention. He talks about helping leaders with the vital skill of problem solving under pressure. He states “Based on 500 in-depth profiles of leaders in a wide variety of industries, 80% or more fall back on their own problem-solving skills when under pressure. Leaders start their careers as specialists and are strong problem-solvers. When pressure builds, fixing things themselves provides a sense of control.”
This is so true and is something we all need to consider when the going is tough. In “Don’t Bring It to Work” I talk about the fact that when stress hits the hot button we all tend to revert to patterns of behavior learned in our original organization, the family and that is what we bring into the workplace.
Think about how you coped under pressure when you were eight or ten or fourteen. Now, look at how you problem solve in your adult life at work? What are the common threads? this will help you find the way out to new and more effective behavior.
In the third session of our Total Leadership Connections program problem solving is a key theme. Participants have the opportunity to do a “Pep Talk” concerning a problem-solving issue of their choosing. They can decide to address a work issue or one closer to home. Pep Talk stands for “Pattern Encounter Process” and there is the opportunity to look at the long-term behavior patterns, the coping mechanisms that absolutely pop-up unconsciously when there is stress and anxiety.
What is amazing is how hard it is to see it on ourselves when we are in those stress-filled moments. We learned how to survive when we were kids. How do I know? Just look in the mirror; we’re still here. Trouble is what worked for us as youngsters is not always the best solution as an adult.
Think about it; did you take the fight or flight route? Many a young leader both takes the offensive and is a persecutor and finger pointer in getting through tough times. Others take the avoider route and figures everything will handle itself if I just wait long enough. Others become the victim, some the rescuers. There are the deniers who look a problem square in the face and say “No big deal”.
We can see so many of the patterned responses playing out in the tragedy of the BP oil fiasco. But wait, before you cast the first stone, look inside and think about your own leadership manner of working through tough times at work.
Back to Tom Tavares advice; he suggests leaders take the route of collaboration saying “one mind and many hands is less intelligent than many minds in solving problems from the outset.” I agree that this can help stop the old patterned responses from taking over. Being able to use your leadership team in a cooperative manner and making sure there is openness to question decisions can lead to better and best decisions in the long run.
Tags: Behavior, Collaboration, Communication, Discussion, Family, Leadership, leadership development, Leadership Think Tank, LinkedIn, Organization, Original Origanization, Patterns, Problem-Solving, Tom Tavares, Workplace Conflict, Workplace Relationships, Young Leader
Posted in Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Decision Making, Diversity, Ethics, Executive Teams, Family Business, Family Conflict, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Reflections, Relationships, Stress, Total Leaders, Transformation, Workplace Relationships, Young Leaders, leadership development, motivation | No Comments »
Monday, April 12th, 2010
There are so many words to describe leaders. In all the leadership development programs I have researched there are certain words that are on most web sites. Strong leadership is everywhere, so is powerful, committed, and of course, great leadership is always on the list.
Lately I have seen a rash of leadership blogs and responses about being a tough leader. I often wonder is this is in reaction to President Obama who many see as too soft, or bringing out too much of his “feminine side”.
As I research executive leadership and look at the who and the what of good to great leadership I am struck by the fact we keep using the same names over and over again; Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, FDR, Churchill, and a rash of personal relatives from parents to aunts and uncles.
I would like to pose a possibility; rather than looking at being a strong, tough, fearless, etc. leader, perhaps it is time to address both the leadership qualities as well as the qualities of the men or women who can be great role models because they are TOTAL Leaders.
My definition of a total leader is someone who is so in touch with her or his inner and interpersonal realms they can be honest as they run through the total range of human emotions, who is real, who can express upset, and fear, who can show us how to radiate delight as well as be definite and firm in decision making. A total leader is one who has the strength of character to stay steady when the winds of change are blowing and will not waiver when the right thing is hard to do.
Total leaders are those who know that “we are all connected and no one wins unless we all do“. They have enough ego strength to let others be front and center, yet will take the stage when it is necessary. Total leaders do not avoid conflict, yet will not throw fuel on the fire to get their way.
I believe being a total leader is an ideal, to go toward, being the best we can be without the need for the fanfare although accepting the applause when it is given. Even if total leaders don’t always land on their feet, they have a way of keep on keeping on, even against all odds.
Do you know any leaders who are going toward this lofty goal? I would love to interview them (or you if this shoe fits) for our new teleconference program that will begin in several months. You can email me at sylvia@ceoptions.com so we can discuss. Thanks for any help you can offer.
Tags: Character, Decision Making, Executive Leadership, Interpersonal, Leadership, leadership development, Our Philosophy, Powerful Leaders, Strong Leaders, Total Leaders
Posted in Character, Communication, Decision Making, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Executive Teams, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Reflections, Total Leaders, leadership development | No Comments »
Thursday, April 1st, 2010
Envy: Green Eyed Monster
In the April edition of Harvard Business Review is an article about how envy can sabotage your company’s performance. The word envy is one of those emotional words that spark memories. I immediately went to a time at age fourteen when we were all nervously trying out for the volleyball team at camp.
It was not for love of volleyball that was merely the vehicle; it was prestigious because the team would travel around the state to other camps at least once a week. It meant freedom; it meant checking out the boys and comparing them to those left at our home camp. It meant freedom, oh I already said that.
There were two slots left. There were three of us vying for these places. I was standing next to Lois Fisher. We were the rivals, the envy twins. We were always in competition. We said we liked each other to everyone, yet, the tension was always there between us.
I won the slot, she did not. I felt so superior, in ways that all fourteen year old girls know; subtle yet calculating. She ended up as the coach’s assistant. So, every game had Lois on the sidelines making comments about me, my stance, my hits and mainly my misses.
I did not perform well. Lois’ eyes were always boring holes in my body. I was so determined to prove her haughty judgments wrong I often froze when the ball was coming right to my outstretched arms.
Fast forward to a work experience; there she was again, no, not Lois Fisher, this was a guy named Matt Stevens. He had the same smirk, the same capacity to judge. I was a mess. I kept missing the ball.
Then I took the time to go back to the essence of my angst. It was that envy thing. I tracked back in a moment of quiet to Lois. Then I got to the “aha” moment that had all the workplace conflict melt away. I went to the place I had learned in the leadership development program from years ago. I went home!
What I realized was that the core of the tension, the jealousy was still lurking there, still under the radar, still connected with my older brother, the one who became a doctor, who always had the right answers, the one I saw as always judging me.
Here is where the Harvard article is good, yet misses a key point. The questions to ask yourself to find the source of your envy do not go back far enough. They won’t get to the “mother root” and thus will keep the pattern coming back over and over.
What I know, and why I wrote “Don’t Bring It to Work” is that when stress hits the hot button, when emotions get the best of us, we need to look into our original organization, the family. That is where the patterns that spark upset lie. It is where we find that the Lois Fisher and Matt Stevens of the world are still remnants of something older, more primal that drive us. Once we can observe these old patterns we can begin to change them. Staying in the present to find solutions can only take us so far.
Tags: Change, Don't Bring It to Work, Envy, Family, Harvard Business Review, Judgment, Leader, leadership development, leadership programs, Organization, Pattern, Performance, Solutions, Stress
Posted in Business, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Ethics, Fear, Leaders, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, Patterns, Stress, Transformation, leadership development | No Comments »
Monday, March 8th, 2010
Edmund Pettus Bridge
Yesterday was a day of glitter and glitz at the
Oscars. It is often interesting to see what else has happened on the same day through history. The big one that stands out is “Bloody Sunday” on March 7, 1965.
The connection with the Oscars is to see so many people of color walking grandly to the stage for awards and think about those people of color who, 45 years ago also walked. What a different walk that was, across Selma, Alabama’s “Edmund Pettus Bridge”, where they were met with tear gas and police clubs during a voting rights march.
It was a courageous time when so many still in their teens banded with leaders who were willing to put not just their names on the line; their lives were also up for grabs. Here is where 600 plus individuals came together to say “It will stop with me”.
This was an active solution to lives lived in fear. It was where those who had been victimized for generations threw off the victim mantle and began to explore options, to take charge of their lives in a new way.
The color lines are more blurred at the Oscar ceremonies than ever before. There is a camaraderie based on creativity and a search for excellence. The film “Precious” however, shows that the poverty and sadness of past generations of poverty and struggle still has a long way to go. Yet, and yet, there is the beauty of the human spirit that shines through and gives hope that we are, albeit slowly, moving in the right direction.
However, some stay so, so stuck; when it was announced that Arne Duncan, Secretary of Education is to meet with students at the Robert E. Lee High School in Montgomery, Alabama on Tuesday, to commemorate the anniversary of Bloody Sunday, there was controversy. The school had opposed the march those long years ago and therefore this opposition should still be respected, so goes the rhetoric.
When do we let go of the past and move to higher ground? When do we clear the past to free the present? In some places it simply and sadly takes longer.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Conflict, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Leadership, leadership programs, pattern aware
Posted in Collaboration, Conflict, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Fear, History, leadership development | No Comments »
Monday, March 1st, 2010
There is an interesting new TV program airing this Friday; “Who Do You Think You Are?” based on finding the long lost ancestors of celebrities.
This is not just for the rich and the famous. I believe we all would benefit from finding out more about where we came from, and what patterns of behavior were handed down from generation to generation.
Most of us are interested in ourselves and don’t care all that much about the stories of those who came before us. We are polite when grandparents talk about “walking miles to school on dirt roads in flimsy shoes with only an apple for lunch.” We say to ourselves that times have changed and that was then, not the way it is now. We want to stay in the present and not look back.
So, what is the value of searching for ancestors and finding out more about where we came from? Lisa Kudrow, of “Friends” fame and producer of the new series put it clearly “We always forget how important history is. It informs everything that happens after.”
In “Don’t Bring It to Work”, there is a way to begin the search for your own history, because Kudrow is right, the past does inform everything that happens after. In the book is an outline of a “Sankofa Map”. The word Sankofa comes from Ghana and means “clear the past to free the present”.
What we know we can change, what remains hidden, can haunt us. No, it is not possible to know all the details; that is not what matters. What matters is finding the themes that have tumbled through our histories. So, often with a little time and willingness to dig down, the pieces of our personal histories are available to us.
It is so important for leaders to take the concept of self awareness into the long-ago past and find out how the patterns handed down from great grandparents to grandparents to parents to children through the ages impact decisions made right now.
The stories we learn about can be fascinating and shed light on why we do what we do. Every family has its share of heroes as well as villains and we can then pull on the positive patterns and stand on the shoulders of the past rather than repeat it.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Conflict, Emotions, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Health, History, Leaders, Leadership, Media, Money, Neuroscience, pattern aware, Patterns, Power, Relationships, Sankofa
Posted in Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Health, History, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Media, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Psychology, leadership development | No Comments »
Thursday, February 25th, 2010
Sometimes there is a frustrating moment when you are not sure what you see, hear, and feel is making sense to anyone but you. It is making you crazy. Are you the only one wondering what is going on in this meeting? Are you are the only one sensing the tension and disconnect?
Maybe, just maybe, it is not what is happening in the room at that exact time. Perhaps, it is a memory trace of a past event in your life, and there you are, in a sense, re-living it.
The scientific term for this is called an engram. Here is an example: You are a toddler and the family is going to the beach for the first time. Everyone is excited about flying from land-locked Oklahoma to Florida.
Your parents talk about swimming in the ocean, the warm blue water and the pretty white waves. You are old enough to know this will be special.
Then you get to the beach and it is pouring rain. You stand with your family on the motel patio and sense the upset and annoyance.
Now, fast-forward: you are a grown-up and you are taking your family to the beach. It is a sunny day and everything is working perfectly; except, you are depressed and sad. Do you feel as though you are crazy? Of course you do!
Blame it on your brain. The old trace memory from long ago has kicked in, and while it is certainly possible to shake off the upset, you wonder why it happened in the first place.
Many times we can go back and connect the dots of old memories; often we can’t. So, if your feelings are not connected to the situation of the moment, know it is an earlier pattern from the past at play.
Remember: 1. You do bring your past with you whether you want to or not.
2. Every thought and situation is recorded in your memory system.
3. Present reactions may be knee-jerk responses to the past.
So, when the guy next to you in a meeting says something that presses your buttons non-stop, ask yourself if this is from what is actually happening in the present, or does he remind you of your older, know-it-all brother who used to drive you crazy?
You can learn more about patterns by going to www.sylvialafair.com and take the pattern aware test to see what drives you to distraction.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Book, Coaching, Communication, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Psychology, Relationships, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Diversity, Employers, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Psychology, Reflections, Super Achiever, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
This is a time for women to pat themselves on the back for all the successes that have come in the last 60 years. The role of women has changed dramatically, and it has been mostly a quiet revolution.
But there have been some loud bumps and bleeps along the way, like the angry wife who took action to cut off her husband’s private parts, rather than just wish she could. With the rash of cheaters now making the headlines that may be something to rethink instead of all the shame-faced public apologies. Scratch that, it was just a wandering thought!
Since, within the next several months women will become the majority of the workforce, and we know there is power in numbers, it is an important time to think about what we, both female and male, want to have as change initiative, moving forward.
I would like to underline the importance of a partnership model. Women and men need to talk in a new and more effective way. It is about how we connect and relate around the things that matter most – our relationships and how to be stewards for the future generations.
Not enough air time has been given to these priorities, and as a society I believe we are suffering and self- medicating through substances, sex, and shopping.
There is a new feminism (what about a new ‘malism’) that takes into account the differences in the way men and women are wired. We need to find a middle way that takes into account how male and female brains process information. Not good or bad, just DIFFERENT.
Even more importantly, we need to take into account the legacy we hand to the next generation. So far, we, and that means all of us, have not gotten high marks here. What are we teaching our kids about what it means to be a woman, a man, a business person, a citizen, a human being?
The workplace is the place where change can happen and happen quickly. It is the place that has changed the most in the past century. It is the place that women and men can begin a true dialogue and real partnership can occur.
Tags: Celebrity cheaters, Change initiative, Cheaters, Female vs Male thinking, Feminism, Future generations, Models, Partnership model, Pulbic apologies, Relationships, Self-medicating, Substance abuse, Women vs Men, Women's revolution, Women's success
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Executive Teams, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Marital coaching, Media, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, The media, Transformation, Trust, Uncategorized, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships, leadership development | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, February 17th, 2010
We are living in an era of polarities. Our government is a house divided, not just by being Republicans and Democrats, but by taking extreme views on just about everything and then, as we all see, nothing happens. We are polarized, and we are stuck.
Same thing happens in the workplace when there is too much emphasis on only thinking about the positive. In an organization that leaves no room for dissent, we get a variation of the movie “Pleasantville” (if you haven’t seen it, it is worth the time).
There are ideas that if you focus only on the positive then, like magic, the genie will appear and you will get what you want. That is the premise of the book “The Secret” that has made millions for the authors and has done little for readers.
Recently I heard someone say “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your definite plans”. There is a mystery to our lives, and part of joining into the essence of that mystery is to be real, and to accept the ebb and flow of life in its entirety.
What do I mean by being real? That means accepting the bitter with the better, and telling ourselves and others the truth about what we see, think and feel.
The new way of doing things is to find a balance between looking at the good in our lives, and being appreciative, as well as letting our angry, sad, or disappointed emotions show.
After the super-bowl, the coach, Jim Caldwell showed what real is in an appropriate way. He acknowledged that he and the team were upset, and yes, they would sulk for awhile. Then they would bounce back and use the disappointment of losing this big game to their advantage for next year.
I guarantee that the best way to handle being upset is to…well, be upset. You really don’t move on until you get the hurt and sadness out. If it sits in you, it leads to long term patterns of avoidance and denial, two of the most common and destructive patterns that can destroy a team or a company.
You can see the results of too much of phony happiness and what to do about it in “Don’t Bring It to Work”. Learn to monitor your own behavior so you don’t get caught in the trap of playing “let’s pretend”.
Tags: Anger in the workplace, Balance, Humor in the workplace, Jim Caldwell, Life's plans, Polarities, Super Bowl Coach
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Employers, Executive Teams, Fear, Health, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Media, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Psychology, Reflections, Transformation, Trust, leadership development | No Comments »
Monday, February 1st, 2010
Leadership and creativity are linked at a core level. Great leaders are also artists in many areas. The following amazing photographs show us how, if we trust each other and find that core creative place, we can make the ordinary extraordinary!
In Japan, rice is essential to life, both for food and as a way of life. Rice planting season has made this very small island culture into one where there is cooperation and collaboration. You can only plant and harvest rice in certain seasons, and it takes the effort of many to make this happen. Once the basics of planting are no longer an issue, look at the creativity that can come with doing the same thing year after year and making it new and unique.
As I looked at these photographs I wondered who came up with the ideas. Then I thought……………who cares? It is a team effort, and the results speak for themselves. Having been to Japan many times, I was always fascinated by the lack of “me, me, me” ego so often seen in the West. Collaboration is at the heart of the hard work that went into these works of art. Enjoy.
Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan, but this is no alien creation. The designs have been cleverly planted.
Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different color rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields.
As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge.
A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants. The colors are created by using different varieties. This photo was taken in Inakadate, Japan.
Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies. This was created by precision planting and months of planning by villagers and farmers located in Inkadate, Japan.
Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives are featured on the television series Tenchijin, appear in fields in the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture of Japan.
This year, various artwork has popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan, including designs of deer dancers. Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan, such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers
The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed Kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed Tsugaru, a Roman variety, to create the colored patterns in the time between planting and harvesting in September.
The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square meters of paddy fields.
From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.
Closer to the image, the careful placement of the thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen.
Rice-paddy art was started there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew from meetings of the village committees. The different varieties of rice plants grow alongside each other to create the masterpieces.
In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year. But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention.
In 2005, agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous rice paddy art.
A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot planting of the four differently colored rice varieties that bring the images
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Collaboration, Diversity, Economy, Family-Based Patterns, Japanese art, Leadership, leadership programs, Natural art, Resilience, Rice, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Collaboration, Communication, Consulting, Diversity, Economy, Education, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Honor, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, Super Achiever, Team Building, Transformation, Trust | No Comments »
We just finished one of the most rewarding retreats of…. forever!