Archive for the ‘Women in the workplace’ Category
Monday, April 26th, 2010
Al Gore continues to take a leadership role that may well be bigger than if he had become president. He has not shirked his responsibility for being a spokesperson for what truly matters most, the care and well-being of the planet.
Last Thursday, Earth Day he talked about the fact that the pledge to care about the planet is not merely about the earth itself, it is about all of humanity.
I want to give a personal acknowledgment to private citizen, Al Gore for his elegant leadership in this cause that is critical to every member of our global village. It is all about humanity. What we teach in our Total Leadership Connections Program, that ‘we are all connected and no one wins unless we all do’. This is a vital concept for today’s world. Gore put it clearly, it’s all about humanity.
With the internet and social media weaving us together like the threads of a very strong spider’s web, this concept cannot get enough play. It needs to be said over and over, every day of the year. This makes every day earth day, every day, and humanity day.
It is time to teach in schools, starting with elementary and going right through MBA and PhD programs that everything in our lives is a matter of relationships, a matter of how systems operate.
There are a multitude of relationships to consider from the one we have with ourselves, to those in our families, in communities, in the workplace, and with Mother Earth.
So, let’s take a lesson from Al Gore, an elegant leader, let’s have Earth Day and also add Humanity Day, or Humanity Week, or Humanity Month, or Humanity Year.
Let’s get the media involved and begin to have shows on T.V., comedies and dramas that begin to show how we are all connected, how we can work together and make this blue planet, this home of ours work for everyone.
Ever been to Disney; the “It’s a Small World After All” adventure ride? It should become a theme for more than just a theme park. Think there isn’t anything you can do? Of course you can! Ideas for pushing the notion that we are all connected need to be seeded. Send some creative options to me and you will receive a free copy of “Don’t Bring It to Work” my book with the underlying theme that, yes, we are all connected. Let’s begin the exciting journey to put ideas into action. Can’t wait to hear from you.
Tags: Conflict in the Workplace, Don't Bring It to Work, Elegant Leader, Leadership, Relationships, Workplace Conflict, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Business, Character, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Conflict Resolution, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, Leadership Strategies, PatternAware, Patterns, Reflections, Women in the workplace, leadership development | No Comments »
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
This is a time for women to pat themselves on the back for all the successes that have come in the last 60 years. The role of women has changed dramatically, and it has been mostly a quiet revolution.
But there have been some loud bumps and bleeps along the way, like the angry wife who took action to cut off her husband’s private parts, rather than just wish she could. With the rash of cheaters now making the headlines that may be something to rethink instead of all the shame-faced public apologies. Scratch that, it was just a wandering thought!
Since, within the next several months women will become the majority of the workforce, and we know there is power in numbers, it is an important time to think about what we, both female and male, want to have as change initiative, moving forward.
I would like to underline the importance of a partnership model. Women and men need to talk in a new and more effective way. It is about how we connect and relate around the things that matter most – our relationships and how to be stewards for the future generations.
Not enough air time has been given to these priorities, and as a society I believe we are suffering and self- medicating through substances, sex, and shopping.
There is a new feminism (what about a new ‘malism’) that takes into account the differences in the way men and women are wired. We need to find a middle way that takes into account how male and female brains process information. Not good or bad, just DIFFERENT.
Even more importantly, we need to take into account the legacy we hand to the next generation. So far, we, and that means all of us, have not gotten high marks here. What are we teaching our kids about what it means to be a woman, a man, a business person, a citizen, a human being?
The workplace is the place where change can happen and happen quickly. It is the place that has changed the most in the past century. It is the place that women and men can begin a true dialogue and real partnership can occur.
Tags: Celebrity cheaters, Change initiative, Cheaters, Female vs Male thinking, Feminism, Future generations, Models, Partnership model, Pulbic apologies, Relationships, Self-medicating, Substance abuse, Women vs Men, Women's revolution, Women's success
Posted in Accountability, Avoider, Business, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Education, Ethics, Executive Teams, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Management, Marital coaching, Media, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, The media, Transformation, Trust, Uncategorized, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships, leadership development | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
If you are an executive leader, human resource professional, management consultant, or emerging high potential manager, it is vital for you to understand what goes on inside the heads and hearts of employees to help them become the best they can be. That is your golden globe or Oscar – to help people into excellence.
The more you know how your words and actions impact others, the better you can be at directing a situation to a positive end point. Take for example, the almost universal craving for chocolate. Godiva has made a fortune from knowing how to package this desire into beautifully crafted candy. You can take the newest knowledge from neuroscience and do the same.
Did you ever wonder if we have a “chocolate gene” hidden somewhere in our biology? Actually the answer is in the limbic system of the brain. One study by Matthew Lieberman and Golnaz Tabibnia indicated that people were more positive when a dollar was split fairly giving each individual 50 cents than when they received $8 and another person received $17 out of a $25 bounty. Interesting, more money was not the issue, it was one of fairness. Other studies have indicated that the same feeling of satisfaction that we get from chocolate occurs when we are treated fairly.
How does that affect you at work? If you are the CEO of a company and you treat your senior team fairly, there will be a satisfaction factor beyond bonuses and appreciation awards. If you are a project manager and you are really careful not to “play favorites”, you will find there is more cooperation and also more creative problem solving.
Many of the HR issues that cause feverish sweats in companies are due to the fairness factor. People are often willing to fight ‘to the death’ when they feel they have been treated unfairly. Most class-action suits are fairness based. They cost huge amounts of goodwill, along with the money.
Think about how your actions impact the social brain and the limbic system where threat and hostility are activated. Then stop and decide how you can handle a situation in a more even handed way. It’s like giving chocolate to a baby!
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Communication, Conflict, Cooperation and teamwork, Diversity, Economy, Education, Emotions, Employee appreciation, Employee recognition, Ethics, Executive Teams, Fair treatment, Leadership, Matthew Lieberman and Golnaz Tabibnia, Psychology, Team Building, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Boss, Business, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Conflict, Consulting, Diversity, Employee burnout, Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Fear, Health, History, Human Resources, Integrity, Leaders, Leadership, Money, Neuroscience, PatternAware, Patterns, Power, Psychology, Reflections, Transformation, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships, leadership development | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
Boy, can the little ones teach us to pay attention to how we respond to life! And, they can be a great monitor for us, even better than the most experienced adult. Here is a fun, and also deeply important incident that happened over the weekend.
My husband Herb and I have been visiting with our daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. Our rather precocious four-year-old granddaughter (she really is, it’s not just a grandma thing!) and I were home alone putting a puzzle together. We got all the pieces out, and the instructions initially seemed so simple it was a slam dunk that it should take, oh, maybe ten minutes.
Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I did well in school and even earned a PhD. So, I guess I can be considered somewhat smart. Anyway, forty-five minutes later, the darn thing was still dispersed all over the carpet.
Frustrated, I turned to Arielle and said meekly “Well, I guess we just have to wait for Grandpop to come home”. She reached over to pat my arm and said, “Hey Grandmom, we can do it, I just know we can do it. We don’t have to wait for anyone else.”
I wasn’t so sure, yet her enthusiasm leaked over to my side of the puzzle and we began again. She handed me each piece the way a competent nurse must deal with a surgical resident doing a first appendectomy.
We finished, just in time for her parents and Herb to walk in the door. Arielle proudly showed them the work we had completed. I was grateful no one asked how long it took and I was also grateful that the smart four-year-old can’t yet tell time!
What did I learn? That the children who are being taught to think for themselves from the get-go, the ones getting recognized for a “job well done” when they master a new skill, the ones who are being trained to have patience and look for options to solve the little puzzles of life have the confidence to stay with it, even when they are not sure of the outcome.
Honestly, I’m not so sure I was taught that as a child. I thought about it later and realized that as a young girl, I often waited for my older brother to help me out when I got stuck. The world has changed, and with it so has the role of females.
My granddaughter showed me the new way for both little girls, and boys: stick with it and learn to solve it yourself and have the confidence to believe you can do it. That sure does give me some faith in the future. If enough of our children and grandchildren grow up willing to stay with it, to solve life’s problems, maybe there really is hope for this complex and bruised world.
Tags: Behavioral Patterns, Coaching, Communication, Family-Based Patterns, Leaders, Leadership, Lessons learned from children, pattern aware, Patterns
Posted in Coaching, Communication, Health, Holiday, Leaders, Leadership, PatternAware, Patterns, Team Building, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships, leadership development | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
This is the time of year when we all become sheep and make that list of best practices for the next year. Like psychic predictions, most of them are trashed before the year comes to an end. Why do so many of us waste so much time saying “yes” to things we know will fall by the wayside before too long?
We are so conditioned to starting the New Year fresh and ready for breakthroughs we make our one to ten or one to twenty list and then put an action plan on paper. And then, the burdens and toils of the day take over and somehow, we get into the same old, same old rut.
The reason? Often we take on the whole world. We will become the beautiful, energetic people who will make our fortune this year, just like the ones in all the magazines. Yet, our patterns, those old nagging behaviors from the past creep in and voila! we look back on the year and find we are not so different than we were 365 days ago.
Perhaps we are doing it all wrong. Before we look to the future, maybe we need to look to the past and learn from it. So many philosophers have used a variation of “if we do not look to the past and learn from it, we are bound to repeat it”.
So, instead of resolutions, take a look back to see where you have repeated behavior patterns over and over and look for some revelations about yourself. Then take one aspect of how you respond to others and make that a priority for at least the first six months of the year. One is really enough. Once you start to change just one habit pattern, other behaviors will magically change without effort.
If each of us took the time to change just one thing, it would make a huge difference both in the family and in the workplace. You can learn about your patterns by taking the pattern aware quiz on my website www.sylvialafair.com. Once you have taken the test, call our office for a half-hour free consult by one of our facilitators to help you decide what you want to tackle first.
Sure, there are only a few days left in this year. So what? Everyday is a new day, and you can start to make miraculous changes in the blink of an eye. We are available to help. Let’s make this crazy world a more user-friendly place and learn about ourselves in depth, rather than making mindless resolutions that are usually broken before the month of January is history.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Boss, Ethics, family patterns, Family-Based Patterns, Health, leadership programs, Transformation, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Accountability, Beating holiday stress, Employee burnout, Health, Holiday, Leaders, Leadership, Management, PatternAware, Patterns, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships, leadership development | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
Leadership is a front-and-center job. It’s hard to hide, and if you have chosen leadership, why would you even want to be in the background? Yet, there are times we all need a break and even then, even when you are on holiday, you know you are still being judged, worshipped, detested, quoted, ridiculed, respected, and second-guessed. It’s the nature of the position.
Take a few minutes and think back to when your career as a leader started. It certainly began long before you accepted your present position. It may have been when you ran for a class office in junior high, or became the captain of a sports team in high school. Think about what you learned at that juncture about playing to the crowd, perhaps, even the local media, and what it means to maintain authenticity.
Now, look at the mantle of leadership and how well it fits you. Do you find it too loose, too tight or just right? Some of us have to let the seams out and become more forceful, own more of the package. Others need to rein in their authority or are seen as that awful woman in “The Devil Wears Prada”. I don’t really know of any present-day leader of a large company, an entrepreneur endeavor, a project manager, a school official, a government agency head, who tells me they have it “just right”.
It seems all women leaders are searching for the balance between public persona and private person. There are so many expectations about who a leader is – who you are; what a leader should say – what you communicate; how a leader looks – how you dress. Think about the demands and how you feel about the burdens of performing and meeting the expectations set upon you.
Where does the word “authentic” fit into your inner dialogue? From all of my coaching clients, I am aware (as well as in my own inner conversations) that there is a continuous struggle between being someone the world wants and what you know is the right fit for you. It is a constant battle – kind of like that extra ten pounds that are always either obvious or hidden in the background ready to disrupt.
There is an excellent article on Oprah.com, written by Mike Robbins, about the need for recognition and the craving for fame, that has some great insights. Now, I am not suggesting that as a women leader your driving force is to be famous. I am saying that being noticed and critiqued comes with the territory. It is a relationship with employees, customers, community, and often, stakeholders.
Our relationship with positional power is directly related to our sense of personal power.
This is a season of reflection, so take some time to look at the patterns of behavior, the relationship world, that has shaped your ability to be authentic, stand firm and not succumb to the demands of colleagues, community, or critics and be true to yourself. Not an easy task to find the way OUT of old behaviors into new, more effective true-to-yourself reactions. Not easy to go from “too this” or “too that” to “just right”.
Take time to Observe, Understand and then Transform behaviors that are blocking the route to authenticity. One gift I would like to give you is the opportunity to take the pattern aware quiz at www.sylvialafair.com and then have some phone time to assess the results.
The best gift we can give ourselves going into the new decade is the gift of deep diving into our own authenticity and how our presence impacts those we lead.
Tags: Accountability, Behavioral Patterns, Business, Coaching, Communication, Emotions, Ethics, Leadership, Management, pattern aware, Patterns, Workplace Relationships
Posted in Employers, Ethics, Executive Teams, Leaders, Leadership, Women in the workplace, Workplace Relationships | No Comments »
Al Gore continues to take a leadership role that may well be bigger than if he had become president. He has not shirked his responsibility for being a spokesperson for what truly matters most, the care and well-being of the planet.